How to heal from broken heart and past abuse. Healing from broken heart to move on is difficult. Others will tell you to let it go and move on. Perhaps if it’s that easy, they may never get to know you hurt.
The scars of broken heart can eat deep and take all your life to heal. But these can keep you going: Number one: Stop fighting the pain. Number two: Talk about how you feel. Number three: Miss the person. Number four: Don’t lose it. Number five: Let friends in. Number six: Encourage yourself. Number seven: Get out of the pain zone.
- Stop fighting the pain – what you need know is, everyone in a way faces hard time which puts a toll on him. To survive is not to be hard on yourself. It only worsens your case. Cry as much as you can, think about it as much as you feel, isolate yourself if you feel to, these are all ways to grieve your loss.
- Talk about how you feel – don’t hide it if you feel to speak about it. Let it off your chest. Nobody may be able to help and bring back your loss, but speaking it out is away to clear your mind and chest.
- Miss the person – miss your loved one again and again, if you feel the need. Remember your moments together. How great the person was to you and what the relationship or connection meant to you.
- Don’t lose it – cry all you want, scream all you can, get angry with yourself and others. Blame who you can, but don’t lose it. Eat a little, drink a little, sleep a little, and laugh with yourself and others a little.
- Let friends in – it may be hard to start trusting, or engaging with others, because they remind you of your loved one. But at a point in time, you should allow others in, their presence may be a healing process.
- Get out of the pain zone – socialize, get to know one or two folks. Go out to the playground. Play with the kids in your neighborhood. Attend church services, participate in worship and praise hours. Watch comedies, look yourself in the mirror and slap the pain out.
- Find a support group – if you just can’t make it on your own; join a support group, where people with similar crises share their stories. And also, how they are handling them or how they managed to thrive.
- Turn to experts – see the pastor of your local church, go to a counselor to seek help to navigate through the pain. You need spiritual encounter to fortify you go through such moments.
- Enough with the blame – it always happens. Cut the blame. Stop blaming yourself or others. Who did it, who caused it, replaying how one move coulda save the day only intensifies the pain.
- Encourage yourself – put your acts together. Fight back the pain. In life, if you hold to your pain too long, even the very people who grieve with you and think you have all the rights to lament, begin to get sick and tired of you. They escape your sorrow. They also have their cross to carry. You got to wake up and push yourself forward.
How to Get Over Broken Heart When You Still Love Him
Disconnect the Energy
There’s something that makes broken heart more painful. The moments together. How helpful your partner was, the little things you did.
All the funny things she told you about herself and family, the social media photo and text exchange between you.
Remember how he court you?
The smart moments where you both thought “me against the world”. You fought everyone together just to be together.
These stuffs can reveal your tears. They make your heart still jump over the sound of a similar voice.
You recite his name a thousand times a day.
You must find a way to cut off the connection and let go the memory.
How to Disconnect the Energy
- Delete his or her contact – you are always tempted in the middle of the night to text him again. Chat over social media apps. Say things you used to say. Stop calling her phone. Delete the contact. Block her on all social networks you are connected.
- Don’t be in haste – trying to replace the one who broke your heart is trying to affirm your connection with the person. One mistake people make is to find a replacement for their ex. This only makes you vulnerable.
- Stop trying to prove a point – people mistakenly rush in after the end of a relationship to show their ex that they can do better by jumping into another relationship. Few weeks later, they say “all men are the same”.
- Stop fighting to get over them – let time do the dirty job. You don’t have to stop loving someone to move on. Don’t expert to throw two, three years of your life away in a minute.
- Spend time on yourself – must you have somebody? Don’t curse singleness. It’s fine to be alone. Give it some time and revisit yourself: personality, emotion, career, education, and your attitude.
If you are having a hard time managing your single life, I’ve listed some helpful tips that helped me personally over the years; how can I be happy alone?
The funniest thing about broken heart is, if you are not blaming him, you are blaming yourself. This can go on as long as you want it.
That is not good for your health. So cut the crab, and continue your life.
Go for Social Events
Go for parties and share moments with friends. Make new friends during gatherings but don’t engage in sexual activities or involve in relationship.
Get to Work
Focus on work than anything. Get busy with work, if you are business owner, look at possible ways to improve your business.
Write new business plans. Discuss your business with potential investors.
This is a very good time to assess your business and dreams which never made it out. Review loses, gains, and coverage area of business.
Hit the gym from time to time. Get your sneakers and hit the road.
Exercise will promote good health and also keep you busy. You can meet new people at the gym as well.
Make it Stop Hurting by Enjoying the Good Memories
Although, this may stimulate your feelings and desire to get back to your old relationship and may cause pain, a nice way to approach broken heart is to play back the set of beautiful moments you had together.
By this, you wouldn’t be counting wasted times. If dating your ex helped gave up on a bad behavior, then that’s a positive thing.
If your ex helped you to face your fear and dare to forge ahead, that’s great.
They will be the very moments you will miss, but they can also help you through broken heart.
Stop Molding Your New Relationship in Resemblance
One mistake people make in new relationship is to keep looking for fragments or whole of old relationship in the new one.
Hoping your boyfriend tickles like the previous, have fun as you used to, expecting new girlfriend to dress and wear makeup as the old girlfriend.
If you think she got it all, why did you leave then? If he, had it all together, why did he leave you?
Desist from unnecessary comparison between your current relationship and previous relationship. It wouldn’t do you any good.
Expecting your boyfriend to have sex like your old boyfriend, spend money on you as he did and take you to expensive hotels and restaurants.
This wouldn’t help you forget your past and move on. It only creates room to get frustrated.
How to Trust Again After Being Cheated on
- Stop playing victim
- Say some prayers
- Embrace the new dawn
- Trust yourself
- Love yourself
- Its part of life
- Stop replaying the tape
- Don’t throw your whole self at your new friend
- Trust the process not the person
- Bear in mind anyone at all can fall short
- Stop seeing your abuser in your friend
- Forgive yourself
Everyone, one way or the other faces some sort of loss.
It may be the loss of a loved one, dropping out of college for lack of fund, facing abuse from a boyfriend, mother, father, your siblings, friends, boss at work, divorce, cheating husband or wife.
Try to find the strength to get back up, reorganize your life and move on. It will take time, it may reappear from time to time, but you should keep going.
To My Dear Old Friend
If only my thousand words can heal you
If only my romantic sounds can make you happy
I would write you a million times to give you the joy nobody had
But you need more than words
If only I could caress you and take your past away
Or lay betwixt thy soft thighs all night long
To give thee the life you deserve
But all of these would be as alcohol,
Which when washes away, the heart break still awaits
I have waited all my life to have you
Kiss you, mildly handle your well-formed breasts
I dreamed many times having you to myself
Yet, my dreams remain only with my head
Because I’m black and smallish,
I’m denied your care, romance and love
I can’t forget when we were young and I was still foolish
What I wish for now than anything, is to make you happy which I can’t
And even if I can, you would shut your door on me and keep me out of your life
Allow me to heal your broken heart my love