I heard many speak of how a child is a blessing. Remind you of how giving birth could reshape your finance and entire life. Why do men go missing then over pregnancy news?
There’s complete fear, panic and distort when news of pregnancy enters a man’s ears. People argue that, even well-established men react negatively towards pregnancy. How do men react to unplanned pregnancy? They are transported to different planet.
13 Reaction of Men Towards Unwanted Pregnancy
- Fricking out
- Considering abortion
- Considering suicide
- Isolating yourself
- Avoiding food
- Experiencing mix feeling (fright an excitement)
- Avoiding the woman’s call
- Sleeping a lot
- Thinking of your future plans
- Feeling screwed by your partner if you both practiced safe sex
- Distrust and suspicion: thinking of who else could be responsible (looking for who to blame)
- Plan to go missing
- Resentment and frustration
Why Do Men Panic Over Pregnancy?
Men are never prepared enough for pregnancy. There’s always a feeling of not been ready yet. I should turn 30, or I should buy a land first, my salary is not enough, I need the right girl, I need a job etc.
The reaction gets intense if you are unmarried. When all you have going on between you and the girl is mere relationship, which you are not thinking should result to marriage any time soon, your heart is set on fire if pregnancy report comes.
Society and Status
Depending which society, you find yourself, you are scared of been judged. Certain communities or religious bodies frown upon sex before marriage.
If you belong to any of these classes, you fear the comments and treatments which will follow up.
“I am a young pastor. I mount the stage to preach at church. Though my pastor and church were aware we were in relationship, it was the least they expected.
Many thoughts flipped my mind like pages of a book. My girlfriend wanted abortion, I insisted we keep it. We were financially stressed.
I asked myself questions, like, what is the role of the church in the life of a backslider, among others. Though our church is not a mega one, at least I expected a little help which never came.
The worst part of my story is, I leave with my girlfriend in her mother’s rented apartment with her sisters and brother.
I wanted out, I wanted to take my life, it even passed that. Death was easy, death wouldn’t solve my nervousness.” Kenneth
“Am with the girl I go to same church with and her boyfriend worship in same church. We kinda friends. Not too close though.
We fell in love, I care about her, but she’s still in the guy’s rented apartment. She paid visit now and then, when she told me she was vomiting and feeling feverish; my heart almost stopped.
I asked she visited the hospital, I bought malaria drugs, later I was advice to get her to take pregnancy test.
I couldn’t sleep nor eat until all results came negative. I love her but what will the church say, what will people say about us?” Godwin
“Never again. I’m a taxi driver, and I started slacking with giving proper account the car owner. I feared my job was at stake. Too many demands to keep up with financially.” Taxi driver
On hearing “I’m pregnant”, some men will escape to the land of no return for fear of responsibility. Pregnancy takes much from you, not only financially but emotionally. And if you were only having a moment with her before it poops up, you feel unease.
“When the students were not at lab, I joined the chairs and slept. I was sleeping a lot. One day a colleague teacher entered the lab and mentioned my name, Bruce! Have you impregnated some body?” Bruce, Computer teacher
This is a new world to both the man and the woman if it’s the first time. For the man, he has no idea how to cope with the ever-changing conditions.
Women become strange at each stage of pregnancy which scares the hell out of men.
Any adolescent is capable of impregnating. Although you can impregnate doesn’t give the green light to. When a guy at early adolescent stage impregnates a girl, it is a result of teenage pregnancy.
Teenage pregnancy brings upon the boy in question panic.
“I was not ready because I still haven’t found a job or earning income to support my family. I didn’t want a child but my wife insisted.
Though I was ok with her through the pregnancy process, and felt comfortable with the changes which came along, I was still distorted because of financial challenges.”
How Do Men React to Unplanned Pregnancy? When you have affair with someone whom you believe is loosed and she gets pregnant, you raise questions. This makes you uncomfortable.
Men panic when they fear the family of the woman. Some run away because of threats and attempts of imprisonment.
“My girlfriend’s father was irresponsible. I did everything for the girl, when she got pregnant; he arrested me and charged me a huge sum of money.” Motor rider
At times the man is scared of his family. How they will react. Perhaps kick him out of the house or cease to pay his school fees.
“My high school result was just in, while plans were underway for me to apply for the University; my girlfriend broke the news.
I was devastated, my nerves completely shut down. Couldn’t stand on my feet. I kept it from my brother so long, finally he was informed.
My brother said, how things look, we have to put the school on hold. My head was summersaulting.” Ignatius
Can Men Survive Pregnancy Stress?
Of course, you can overcome this. This is not something that passes easily by playing a soothing music through headphone.
But with time, your stress level reduces. You make up your mind to fight as a man. Accept what is, and take responsibility.
“It’s not easy. How I pulled through was foreseeing the future of the baby. Hoping the baby’s life will bring positive change.” Kenneth, now a father of a daughter
“I considered my influence in people’s lives. I once disappointed them. I can’t afford to take another wrong move. I am not a monster, I must do the right thing now.” Bruce, father of two, same woman
“Eventually, I went to the University and kept the pregnancy. I was fortunate my brother reconsidered. We both worked hard to pay my fees.” Ignatius, father of 2, same woman
Piece of Advice
No matter how long you wait, you will become a father. Stop involving in sexual relationship with girls you are not attached to or can’t showoff to others as mother of your child.
Sex leads to baby. It is why it exists in the first place. And contraceptives can fail.
Irene, a midwife says “They say of midwives that we are loose. Some midwives think because they are informed, they can outsmart the system.
Having the information doesn’t mean you should engage in sex. If you don’t want a baby, don’t have sex.”
Next thing, since you can’t abstain, marry. The issue with getting married is, you are always waiting for the right time. While the right time never comes, you start playing dirty.
The result of this will be unplanned pregnancy. No matter how much it tailors you to hell path, don’t make a wrong move. Take some time to get back into the right senses.