Don’t fall for the belief that you have to talk to a woman for long before asking for her number. A 5 minutes conversation is long enough to pick a contact. When you ask for her number, do not use any gentlemanly phrase like: please, can I have your number?
Don’t wait for a greenlight to approach a girl, be bold and comfortable, look at her to show you’re listening when she talks, stand tall with great posture, talk slowly in a deep resonating voice.
1. Watch Out for Her Nonverbal Signals
To avoid suffering embarrassment in the hand of women and end up developing you don’t have a chance in hell syndrome; take your time to follow a woman’s lead.
“Long before you decide to make your move, a woman has either given you the signals that she’s interested or she’s displayed disinterest.
Now some men choose to ignore the disinterested signals and approach regardless, and this is where the rejection happens,” says Dr. John Gottman.
Paying close attention to a woman’s nonverbal signals and cues does not only increase your chance of getting a date but boosts your morale as your likelihood of securing a date is higher than failures.
When you are looking for an outline on how to approach a girl, when, where, and what to text first, I recommend this book I found on Amazon which will give you all the answers with a 100% guarantee of success.
2. Show the 3 Power Flirting Skills
“There are only three vital steps to attracting the quality of woman you deserve. These are the flirting actions: comfort, interest and desire. These are action steps men must take to prove themselves,” says Christopher Williamson.
If it is true about a job interview, it is true about getting a date. When you show up for a job interview, one thing they watch out for is your composure.
How comfortable are you when facing the panel? Before a girl will really throw any signal at you, she’s already checked your dominance of the space you occupy.
But it doesn’t end there, when you approach, how comfortable do you act around her? Are you startling with words, gasping for breath, plucking invisible sockets out of your hair?
Whether a woman shows greenlight indicating her interest in you, if you don’t have any interest in her, you are not going to approach.
On the other hand, if you like her but do not show interest by going after her, she will not come dragging you as a puppy.
“If you’re not willing to walk up to a woman and open your mouth because you’re too scared, then she already knows you’re not the man she’s looking for,” Christopher Williamson.
A woman will dress properly, flaunt herself in your face, to test your masculinity. If you are scared of her beauty, how do you protect her? Remember, a woman wants a man who will protect her.
3. Only Dwell on Powerful Positive Beliefs
“Don’t wait for a go signal like eye contact or someone to introduce you. Just take action.” Christopher Williamson.
We talked about how you should wait on nonverbal signal to make a move. While this is best way to approach a girl to avoid rejection; some times you just have to trust your instinct.
Instead of holding to all the negative things you’ve ever experienced when approaching a girl, reframe your mind. Only see the positive side of things.
Forget about what society told you about girls, or what you found out rather dwell on these powerful positive beliefs.
- Believe that all girls are friendly, even the most attractive ones.
- Believe that girls want you to approach them and they are only waiting on you to take a step.
- Believe that girls love you, they admire you a lot.
- Believe that girls are interested in you and all you need do is approach.
- Believe that girls fall for your appearance and words and skills.
- Believe that you are only going for a talk, nothing more, if it turns out more than a talk that’s ok.
- Believe that you don’t have anything to lose if things don’t go your way, you are only giving her a chance to know a wonderful guy like you
- Believe that approaching her is a step to building your confidence to face the future
4. Don’t Associate Emotion with the Interaction
When you talk to people about last night game between your favorite football team and another team, you don’t get nervous, do you? What of asking for direction or finding out the price of an item in a shop?
Mostly, you do not associate emotions with these actions so you just go asking without fear of rejection or fear of rubber bullet thrown at you.
The difference between asking for direction from a stranger whatever the gender, is the emotion attached to your expectation.
In all, you want result, but you don’t mind if this stranger couldn’t show you where the mall is, you just ask another person, right? But when she fails giving you her number, you feel rejected.
This is because you are associating emotion with the interaction. If you can find a way to separate the two as you approach a girl, you will make progress.
5. She is Just Another Friend
Anytime you intend approaching a girl, whether being stranger or acquaintance, take her for a friend next door. It will take a lot of pressure of you.
Don’t approach a girl with the intention of getting a result: taking her number, getting a date, having a kiss, making a first pression, getting laid etc.
6. Maximize Your Space
For a woman to signal you out of many men, she must find you attractive. For you to be attractive, you must possess these qualities, Confidence, intelligence, and high social status.
You may be asking how will she know you have these qualities if she hasn’t interacted with you yet? These qualities are the space maximizers and they can be spotted from a thousand miles away.
“The first behavior that will make a woman pay attention is what scientists call space maximizing,” says Gottman.
According to a research by scientists in the University of Vienna, the men who successfully make contact with women maximizes their space by “showing their dominance in their social setting by stretching out their legs, throwing an arm around their chair, or otherwise owning the space they occupied.”
Meaning, how you conduct yourself would either lead a girl your way or direct her attention from you.
Your body language matters a lot when you approach a girl or you want to be among the few supermen women spot out in a room full of gentlemen. When you can maximize your space, you will get that I am available cue lots of the time you meet a girl.
7. Ignore Pickup Line and Initiate Honest Conversation
Instead of walking with a handful of memory verse looking for which girl to rumble it on, find the niche of each environment you find yourself and speak their language to start a conversation.
“You may think you have the best pickup lines invented since primitive men stopped using clubs, but those lines (like the earlier clubs) are virtually useless,” says Dr. John Gottman.
8. Sincere Questions to Ask Women to Start a Conversation
Here are 11 examples of sincere questions you can ask women to start a conversation in 4 different settings by Christopher Williams.
- Hey guys, what time is this place closing?
- Hey, do you guys know who the DJ is?
- Hey, do you know what this song is called?
- Hey guys, have you tried vodka and cranberry juice?
- Is it nice?
- Hey, where’s the closest coffee shop around here?
- Hey, where’s the best shop with sexy clothes for guys?
- Hey, what tastes better oranges or mandarins?
- Hey, is it just me or is it cold in here?
- Anywhere Hey, I just bought these jeans and was wondering if I made the right decision.
- What do you think?
- Hey, I was thinking of getting this tattoo drawn on my upper back, (show picture of tattoo) what do you think?
- Hey, what’s the time? (careful it’s hard to come across natural with this one)
“A sincere question helps you come across cool and calm because you’re tricking your own mind to forget about the outcome and just flirt with women,” Christopher Williamson.
9. Hand Over Your Phone to Her to Dial Her Number
Easier said than done right? Well, you’ve come too far to still worry about handing your phone over to a lady to add her contact.
To clear the air, you don’t need a 10-wheeler conversation time to demand a girl’s number. 2 – 5 minutes conversation is long enough for you to pull out your phone and ask for her number.
And when you do, don’t babysit her. Don’t patronize her, don’t ask her is she has a guy, any submissive request to get her number would be your biggest woo.
This is because a woman is not looking for Jonny come late man, she wants a man who can protect her, a man who would walk her home after a late-night movie in a theater where she has to walk pass the cemetery.
Don’t confuse this with arrogance. Arrogance won’t make you have her neither, it is confidence.
“Action is the real measure of intelligence.” Napoleon Hill.
After knowing these enthusiastic steps, if you sit without practice, you are who you were before meeting this information, and you are still where you were.
In order to test your intelligence, go out there and put what you know now into practice. Do this without expecting results. For a beginner, these steps are best practiced without settling for a goal.
The outcome is not the number, kiss, sex, or a date. The outcome is building self-confidence, maximizing your space and understanding women.
Proposing to a girl is an act. It may take a while to wrap your mind around. It may take practice over time.
While you still practice, if you happen to get your crush’s number from someone else, and looking for a perfect first text, read this post on how to text a girl whose number you got from someone else.