How to Hold A Girl’s Hand for the First Time – Beginners Guide to Romance

A woman will show you what to do with her at each given time. The best shots happen when you learn to follow her lead. Research shows that it’s the woman who controls whether or not a man approaches her. This means she has control over what you do with her.

Look into her eyes with a gentle smile, study her nonverbal signals and follow her lead. Move slowly closer, put your hand forward slowly as you notice her action, if she moves in and keep her hand at the same spot or move it closer, go ahead and hold her hand.

1. Maximize Your Space as the CEO

Before you go holding any girl’s hand, she has to permit you. If you take matters into your own hand, you may get hot slap on the face, suffer public humiliation or who knows what you may suffer?

With that said, there’re few things men can do to increase their odds. I call these, “turning a sorcerer’s powers against her.”
Women are moved by feelings. If you can tap into those feelings, she is all yours. The reason is simple, they operate based on emotions.

If a girl likes you, she wouldn’t walk to you and voice it out. But she will place a bid in your direction with nonverbal signals and cues. Some of them are, repetitive eye contact, smiles, tilting head (avoid this as a man), among others.

To capture her attention, feed her with what she feeds on. Look at these observational studies published in Evolution & Human Behavior.

Men who made successful contacts with women hard a different body language than the men who were unsuccessful in their approach.

The successful men were space maximizers. They showed their dominance in the social setting. In other words, they were in charge of their zone.

For example, if they were in a room of two or three, they controlled the atmosphere. So how do you take charge of your zone to become a space maximizer and have successful romantic life?

Follow these nonverbal signals to maximize your space.

  • Stretch out your legs when sitting
  • Throw your arm around the chair you sit in
  • Look the girl in the eyes (make eye contact)
  • Put on a smiling face
  • Make fewer closed-body moments (shaking head, tilting head, throwing arms aimlessly, scratching body, rubbing face with palm, touching lips)
  • Stop folding arms around your chest as a school boy (hugging yourself)
  • Stop crossing arms behind you as a school girl
  • Stop bowing your head unless you want to pray
  • Avoid crossing legs at your knee
  • Avoid standing with one arm across your torso holding onto your other arm

2. Overcome Petty Stress in Her Presence

“Stress is not sexy,” says John Gottman, PhD. Don’t fool yourself into believing looking shy will turn her own. Neither will your unstable form make her want you to grab her hand.

Confidence is sexy. When you manage your way out to maximize your space and she falls for it, gives feedback that she is interested and set to offer you her body, you need confidence to consummate your plan.

According to research by Fhionna Moore, PhD, from the University of Dundee, women find low-stress men much more attractive than men with higher levels of a stress hormone.

In order to hold her hand for the first time, trash all your fear out. Stop thinking of things going wrong or what she will say. Stop thinking of rejection, whether pass rejection or what may happen now.

Recall a moment of strength in your life. Tap into her emotions and follow her lead. Let her drive you.

You’ll be shocked how flexible she would be with you if you throw your braveness around this. She will respect you and want more of you.

3. Be Present in the Moment

Quality talks can open doors for you. Women love attention. There’re many women looking for the man who will listen to them. I bet there are fewer buddies willing to tune in.

When you communicate, stop scanning the room, pressing phone, flipping text book, don’t look distracted. Be actively engage in the conversation.

She will know you are present based on types of questions you ask. When you ask a question, and failed to ask a follow-up question, she knows you are not present in the conversation.

Don’t interrupt her while she is answering a question. It makes you a jerk. It shows you are only randomly spiting some memory verse.

I don’t think you are reading this because your only one goal is to hold her hand and walk home then that ends it. You won’t see her again. No no no! A thousand times no! You want to meet her often.

You want to turn her into your woman. Being present in the moment with a woman will make her yearn for you always. As said, fewer buddies are willing to be present in the moment.

Active conversations with a girl put her in the mood and when you look closely, you will notice the nonverbal cues which tells you its ok to hold my hand. Its ok to kiss now. Its ok to touch me deeper.

4. Do Not Ask for Her Permission to Hold Her Hand

“Nothing is more of a mood killer than a man who asks for permission,” says Gottman. Yes, you heard the man.

If you don’t know, Gottman is a researcher, who predicts with 94 percent accuracy whether a couple will get divorced. His scientific laboratory is his major source of knowledge.

Already, we discussed signals that will let you know she is set. Also, nonverbal signals that you can send to make you dominate your space and turn her on.

Instead of seeking permission, rather pay close attention to the signals and take charge of your environment.

Be confident, don’t be arrogant. Play nice, be gentle. But don’t go asking for permission to hold her hand. It doesn’t work!

There’s this one particular girl I like so much. She’s a model. Superhot. I think she was into me, and all the signs were written on her forehead. But whenever I wanted to hold her hand, I asked.

I never succeeded holding her hand. On one occasion, I run into her, it was a while we met. It was late too. While we strolled, I asked again, can I hold your hand, she replied, you still do this? Well, you just trying to be a gentleman.

I couldn’t hold her hand. Now I’ve seen her for I don’t know …………… so long.


Your body language can be a mood killer or appetizer for women. Its your choice what you make out of your body in the presence of a girl. Whatever your choice may be, remember it’ll influence your chances with women.

Your voice as well counts a lot when wooing a girl. Have control over your voice. Drop your voice when you speak with her and set your body right. With these, you don’t have to sweat to hold her hand. It will come naturally. And I bet you’ll have more to it than holding hand.

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