There is a way to make a girl fall madly over text and it is simple. Sending overly romantic SMS at the beginning of your friendship is no way to go about it. To make a girl fall for you, do what you say you will do. Don’t be creepy, stay away from lies, and always keep your intention open from the start to avoid disappointment.
Also Read: First date topics and conversation starters
To make a girl fall over text, don’t start with sentimental texts. Compliment her in your comeback text. Ask open-ended questions to create connection and trust. Lastly, become romantic with texts to make her think of you daily.
1. Always keep the first text light and simple
Even if you have already made your intention known to her, you still want to keep things casual. Before you say whatever, you want to say, she knows why you approached her.
But most girls don’t want you to be rough with your words. It makes them look cheap and it makes you look desperate and creepy.
Instead of trying to get into her pant; get into her world.
Remember, whether she wants one night or forever with you, she wants to be sure you are safe to be around. She wants to know you are cultured, you can protect her, and take care of her.
I call this stage welcoming a new neighbor on the block. You don’t tell a new neighbor, you look sexy, you look beautiful, I want to have sex with you, I like your breast, come to my room, you look hot in that dress.
Rather, say things like:
- Good morning.
- Hello, how are you doing this beautiful Tuesday?
- It’s me Stephen, the guy from the bar, remember?
- Oh, you leave here? I was the one that fixed your car tire last night at Madison.
- Hi there! How’s your day going? Dave, the mail delivery boy.
- Stacey, what’s up? I got your number in the mall, the short dark guy in the yellow dress. Mic.
I can go on and on, and these texts will look a lot similar. This is all you need as your first text. The introductory text. She will eventually reply, and that’s what leads us to the next topic.
And wait at least 24 hours before sending any new text in case she did not reply to the introductory text or SMS.
2. Let her know you value her time
While you are about to wrap up your first conversation, let her know you appreciate the time she spent with you. It won’t make you look desperate, it only shows you are appreciative.
“Confidence will attract a woman. Arrogance will repel her faster than you can say, “Help me shave my back,” says Gottman.
Don’t forget that, before a girl made you have her number, she already made up her mind. You are either in her trash can or in her valuable assets.
John Gottman, Ph.D., said in his book, “The Man’s Guide to Women,“ research shows that it’s the woman who ultimately controls whether or not a man approaches her.”
How do women own this wheel and use it? While I cannot tell you how they own the wheel; I can tell you how they use it. They send the man nonverbal signals and cues.
“Long before you decide to make your move, a woman has either given you the signals that she’s interested or she’s displayed disinterest,” says Gottman.
Now, saying thanks may not make any difference but it’s just nice to do so. You can look at it this way if you would; two people meeting for the first time, and after talking for a while, one said, nice meeting you.
That’s exactly what I’m driving at.
Let’s assume the introductory text or welcoming a new neighbor on the block text was replied to, which will be in most cases. You exchanged a few more texts.
Follow her lead. If she intends to continue the chat, proceed, but it will be smart of you not to say too much on the first day.
Here’s what you do before wrapping up,
- It’s nice chatting with you
- I appreciate your time
- Glad for the time
- I’m more humbled than honored for the moment
- Thank you for the time
3. End the first text with the impression of a comeback
Yes, you heard me right. The plan is to have a second chance and a third and……… in order to achieve that, you want to prepare her mind for it. Feel free to let her know you’ll reach her again.
The main reason for showing gratitude for her time is to throw in this one line. Here, I call it a comeback text.
So it will go this way: it’s nice chatting with you, I hope we do this again sometime.
Bingo! That’s it! How do you feel reading this line? If it touches you emotionally, or it sounds nice in your ears, that’s exactly how she feels too. Guess what? She will be set for another chat.
- I appreciate your time. Perhaps another time, right?
- Glad for the time, please I’ll take another special time of yours same time tomorrow.
- I’m more humbled than honored for the moment. I’ll reach you later.
- Thank you for your time. We will talk next time.
- Nice chatting with you, have a beautiful night, later then.
Throw in your own phrase that best suits the moment. The goal is to inform her you’ll be back.
4. Open a comeback text with a compliment
In your next conversation, get closer to her emotions by saying something really worth her attention.
The first text will show you if this will take off, but the comeback text will tell even more about the future. Now that she has your contact, she can start playing her lady’s thing.
You will know if things will work or not here. But well, if things don’t look exactly how you envisage, there’s always another time to try.
Perhaps she isn’t in the mood or she’s busy, or you just happened to approach at the wrong time.
Before we talk about how the second conversation has to go, I want to tell you to bounce back quickly when the comeback text isn’t balancing. By that, you save yourself some space to try next time.
So what do you talk about during comeback? There are ranges of subjects to discuss depending on your tradition, social class, educational status, and financial background, among others.
You will see more examples in the next topics on what to discuss in come back text or SMS.
Here I’ll show you the kind of compliments that will work as you just entered a new conversation.
- What’s up sunshine? Yet to wake up from the mood you set me in yesterday.
- The last chat was brief, but it keeps ringing in my mind.
- Hey beautiful, how are you doing today?
- I was eager to read your texts, and couldn’t wait for the sun to rise.
You can say some nice things about her profile photo.
- What a nice photograph! You look honest in your photo.
- I bet I want to watch this photo a thousand times. Not that I’ll get enough doing so though.
- What a perfect smile in a perfect photo by a perfect girl!
- This is what I’m using as my wallpaper. You look just amazing in that dress.
5. Make the chat linger on a little longer
While the first text may only last for about 3 minutes, take the comeback text to a deeper level. This is achievable through asking questions. Don’t go asking close-ended questions.
Such questions will only make the chat one-sided. And even if she’s interested in you, it may not show.
Don’t go asking her to tell you her story or something about herself. Such statements only work in scenarios where you are both left in a corner, glancing at each other for hours until one person broke the silence.
Just don’t go there!
“Women are impressed with a guy who has emotional energy, who is passionate about whatever he’s talking about, and who asks questions and really listens to the answers,” says Gottman.
Keep these rules before you start texting: whenever she asks questions, give direct answers not vague, and ask follow-up questions whenever you ask a question.
6. Get to know her by asking open-ended questions
Exactly what I’m talking about. When you ask questions, ask because you want to know. You want to know who you are chatting with.
“Women are looking for transparency and honest conversation,” says Gottman.
It means you must pay attention to the questions you ask and her answers, in that, you will ask follow-up questions.
You don’t want to ask questions randomly once you started. Complete this section, or exhaust her before the next category of questions.
This is simply because she’s reading your line of questions to know your intentions.
She is also judging your intellect, and these questions create a connection between both of you.
I’m not saying stay on one thing for say, 1 hour even if it’s not going anywhere. Women will lead the way, just ask the right questions.
In a research by John Gottman, PhD, in the Love Lab, it was found that, “successful couples reported that their first impressions were positive and not superficial.
It wasn’t about how handsome or beautiful someone appeared to be, it was about interest, warmth, and a genuine desire to get to know the other person as a real person.”
7. Turning close-ended questions into open-ended questions
These are close-ended questions. I know what I said earlier about the type of questions to ask. You don’t intend to maintain them so. Because they’ll be of no value.
If it’s hard to start a chat, close-ended questions are the best to start with. After getting an answer, you capitalize on it and ask another based on the same question.
- Where are you from? – the answer will be: Houston.
- Where do you live? – Valley view.
- What do you do for a living? – I am a lawyer.
Look at how to expand these questions to get the most out of them.
- Where are you from? – the answer will be simple as: Houston.
- Expansion: do you live on your own? – the answer may be: yes.
- Expansion: you live in a flat? – answer may be: yes.
- Expansion: how is rent in Houston in terms of rent charges, residents, and property owners?
You can ask one at a time. Which is good. Just want you to see how far this question can go. With this one question, you found a way to turn a yes or no question into a conversation.
- Where do you live? – Valley View.
- Expansion: did you grow in Valley View? – yes.
- Expansion: oh, my cousin lives in Valley View. It’s been long since I heard from him. What is it like growing there?
- What do you do for a living? – I am a lawyer.
- Expansion: are you pleasing your parents or this is what you always wanted?
Discuss your interest
When it comes to getting to know others and establishing easy conversations, the best questions to ask are always personal.
Knowing what the person finds attractive, what they do for a living, why they chose a certain career, what they intend to achieve in the near future, and how they relate with others.
- Most girls avoid science, why did you choose it?
- What is your relationship with your siblings?
- When you first moved to New York, what fascinated you?
- I prefer cocktails on Sundays, what about you? What do you like for the afternoon?
- Are you thinking of establishing yourself or working with a company?
Discuss school issues or assignment
This is a lot easier to deal with. If you are both studying the same course or going to the same college, you can talk about things related to school.
On the other hand, you can share things about your college while you know more about her college as well.
- So how did you find lectures today?
- Where will you spend your vacation when we break this semester?
- Do you use the library often? Does it meet your needs or do you think there should be some improvement?
- I still find it hard to wrap my head around that topic, can you help me?
- You didn’t look ok in class this morning, what’s the matter?
- After college, what would you do?
Go politics if you want. Note that, politics can become heated. You don’t want to choose the side that could cripple your friendship. Thread with caution.
When possible, avoid politics altogether until you are familiar.
- What do you think of this government?
- Do you think President Biden stands a chance for a second term?
- The new government policy regarding foreign students studying in the US, what do you think of it?
- Do you think Obama would want his wife to become the next president of America?
- I don’t know, but I think America is gradually losing power to Russia or do you think is China?
- Did the formal president, Trump moved the US closer to democracy or rather drift it an inch away?
Talk about the economy
Don’t ask questions that will be difficult to answer. The purpose is not to show off, but rather, to connect and build trust.
This is another crucial topic you want to avoid during the comeback text. It is not a no-go zone, you just want to be careful how you go about it.
- The Russia – Ukraine war, can possibly affect the world economy. Have you been thinking about it?
- I think this is 3rd world war and things can get hard if care is not taken. Have you been following the news?
- How much do you know about cryptocurrency? Are you already investing or considering it?
- Aside from your regular job, do you do anything else for big savings?
- I know you are still in school, but are you planning on taking orders for perhaps, weddings, birthday cakes, and parties?
- How are you mixing school and business, is it as easy as it looks on the outside?
8. Make your intention known
If you haven’t till now, you must do this before next topic. Formerly, I was thinking you have to wait for years to ask a lady out.
I mean before you tell her what you want from her, you should be patient and wait for eternity.
I’ll later learn that, it has not done me any good. Because I always hear girls ask me, so, why didn’t you say it since?
You may have great chat, laugh here and there, but if you are not open with your decision, you have not started anything just yet.
If it comes to flirting, you are limited to very light ones unless she becomes your girlfriend. So, to cut deep, know your stand.
9. Start flirting with your texts
Finally, you are at the point where you can start introducing romance into the scene. Start from low to high. Have all the fun you want. And better days ahead!
- This year, the rain comes with heavy thunders. At times I cleave to the pillow, if you were here I’d hold you longer.
- The weather is cold, is your blanket large enough to take two?
- There’s one person that clouds my mind and that person is you.
Read signals and cues women send before approaching them to make wining her a lot easier. If she is already into you, then, you don’t have to stress out too much to get to her.
Don’t be pushy. Shoot your arrow elsewhere if its not going anywhere. Ask the right type of question, follow her lead and you’ll be fine.