Rejection can be intimidating. This is why some men prefer their fears to approaching a woman. Mostly, the fear did not just develop, it is a result of past experience. Had you the knowledge I’m about sharing; there wouldn’t be a problem, but its not too late.
Thinking Out Loud (TOL): imagine taking a move on a girl, instead of been accepted, the outcome was very bad. Friends mocked you for the failed attempt. You looked like a fool, suddenly, you became timid.
Your energy drained completely. Anytime you decide to approach a woman, you go with one foot in and the other out. Or you just won’t try again.
Conclusion: you made up your mind that girls don’t like you. Then, you support your idea with reasons.
Failure Excuses Guys Make After Suffering Rejection from Girls
- I’m too tall
- I’m too slim
- I’m too fair or dark
- Maybe girls actually like rich boys
- I’m too shy to have a girl
- I’m just not going to be their favorite
- Every girl has a boy, she won’t accept me
- She doesn’t want a gentle man
- She’s too short for me
- I’m not ready
- I’m not her type
- She should be expensive
- Had I Masters Degree, I’d also have a girl
- I’m not educated
These are but few excuses you developed and ride on. Sooner or later, they become reality. What you need do is watch ugly friends take all the fine girls in the neighborhood while biting finger tips in anger, desperation and sadness.
Does that sound familiar? If it does, don’t worry, I’ll not let things remain untidy.
Stay with me to the close of this lecture, then, you’ll notice girls have always loved you.
14 Mistakes to Avoid when Asking a Girl Out
Everyone is bound to suffer rejection one way or the other. Either seeking job, friendship, acceptance into a group or whatever you don’t have and wish to.
With that said, every game has rules. Abiding by those rules minimize loss and disappointments. If aiming at having success with girls, there is a need to follow a set of principles and disciplines.
Here are 14 common mistakes guys make while interacting with a girl.
1. Intention with tension
Let’s be honest, it’s not so easy talking to a girl you have a special intention for. Of course, we all know you are approaching her for that special intension, but carrying it on your shoulder will be your first mistake which will immediately abort your plan now and forever.
What do you feel when you see your sister naked or half naked? If your answer is nothing, then, I’m going to ask you to see that girl exactly as your sister.
Doing so releases pressure and help build a normal conversation between a man and her sister. With this, you don’t have to curse yourself when things didn’t go well.
2. Stop setting goals
A major reason we feel hurt when we fail in life is because we have created idols namely; dreams, goals, ambitions, objectives.
Finally, when your so call goals failed, you cut yourself out time and again. Having dreams for your life is important, but don’t outline objectives when approaching a girl for the first time.
Having plans like; I want to take her contact, I’m going to get a date, I’ll be getting laid, and I want to impress my friends result to disappointment. She’s a person with emotions and she’s independent.
Such overboard ambitions only make things difficult for you.
3. Bad sales man
Stop acting like a bad sales man who forces his products on customers. Rather be that sales man who thinks friendship first.
If there is a target, it should be about friendship. Your first impression is important. Make her feel comfortable interacting with you.
Before approaching a girl, master the art of oral communication that fosters good relationship between female and male at first sight e.g., voice tone, voice volume, voice speed, and voice smoothness.
4. Don’t take it personal
When she refuses to handover her contact, it is nothing personal. She just doesn’t want to. That’s all. It’s her contact, don’t you think she decides who has it? If you think so, then you won’t hurt next time a girl fails to give you her phone number.
5. Avoid impressing friends
Familiar with the phrase “watch and learn?”. They don’t need what you need, stop acting like a lecturer in lecture hall demonstrating to his students.
6. I must win by all cause
Stop acting like a dictator and self-centered person. If you want my vote, you should respect me. Don’t push me to the wall and take what belongs to me. Some men approach women with I must win by all cause method. When it fails, then, they are disappointed.
7. Delegating another person or looking for spokesperson
Don’t ask a friend to talk to her on your behalf. It doesn’t speak well of you. It makes you look timid and not her ideal man.
She wants a leader, a protector, a confident person.
8. She is not a product
Regard her as human not sex object. If you can give that respect to her that she is a human and stop picturing her body, it will be easier to relate with her.
Avoid wrong pickup lines. Don’t talk about her body. She thinks that’s all you are after. Don’t mention how hot her dress is, furthermore, don’t make yourself any less.
9. No talk about pass relationships
If you had any failed or successful relationship, keep it to yourself. She doesn’t want to know. Even if she raises a subject around it; find a way to politely bring up other topics. There’s plenty of time to talk in past tense.
10. One sided conversation
When you meet a girl, who try to give hear you out, don’t make the entire conversation about you. Girls can smile rat from afar. You may not be an abuser but may be confused as one when you fail to listen but only speak about you.
If you are on date, raise topics that resonates with both of you. Stop asking interview questions on date.
11. Wrong body language
Body language constitute higher percentage in wooing a woman. Having the wrong body posture could lead to bad signal.
If you have being practicing these things, you definitely have bad time with ladies. Now that you are aware, all you need is a shift in attitude. It’s about time to adopt new skills to flirt with the girl of your dream.
12. Staying long on phone
It isn’t time to start breathing on phone with her. The first time you call, introduce yourself and tell her you’ll get back. Waiting on the phone until she gives red light is a bad practice.
You don’t want to look like one jobless dude with all the time in the world on his side. There will be time enough to talk and chat should things go well.
13. Sending explicit messages
Bad way to start friendship with a girl is sending her sexually provocative audiovisual or text. It sends a very bad signal.
14. Calling or texting frequently
Avoid being desperate. She will take you for granted no matter how handsome you are. Place value on yourself. Not long, she’ll be fare up with you and that ends it.
10 Ways to Master the Art of Self-confidence
Failure to build self-confidence will result to lower chances to make a girl go crazy over you.
This cannot be over exaggerated. If you don’t love yourself, no one else could possibly fall in love with you. Love who you are, how you talk. Be proud of your gifts. Trust your ability. Doing this makes you stronger physically and emotionally.
2. Love your body
Before you start going mad over any girl’s body, take sometime to appreciate your look. Building confidence in your look gives enough room to walk up to a lady of any status to speak with her without shuddering.
Spend private hours in front of mirror gazing at your body. Be proud of what you see in the mirror and let that look reflect on your wherever you go.
Take your bath regularly, brush teeth, brush hair, and put on clean clothe all the time. Dress properly and look welcoming.
3. Speak fluently
Whichever language or dialect you speak, be good at it. Express yourself well when talking.
How to Be Fluent in Speaking
- Read text/story books
- Listen to or watch radio/TV programs
- Learn how to spell everyday words
- Practice speaking on your own
- Use Google speech recognition
- Don’t rush when talking
- Take class in the language
- Borrow kindergarten textbooks to learn basic pronunciations
- Practice speaking with kids
- Learn at least 3 vocabulary each day
- Express yourself regularly in the language or dialect among people
- Speak with assurance
4. Build the energy
No matter how rich, well-endowed, handsome you are, if you lack enthusiasm there’s no chance of trying to approach a girl.
Even if you do, you may seem uninteresting and dry. To boost energy, exercise at dawn, listen to motivational messages also, talk yourself forward.
5. Find a passion
Do something that interests you. By doing so, you will engage yourself. Identify your gift and develop it. If you don’t have already, start a business in a small way. When you are passionate about something, naturally you become excited.
6. Room for improvement
Until you try doing something, you may not identify your strength and weakness. Get your hands dirty. This will make you know what you suck at and figure out how to improve.
Always look for new ways to improve upon your skill and life. Refuse to be afraid of mistakes. It’s normal for people to mess up. When you do; try again. Without mistakes, no room for improvement.
7. Accept yourself
One crazy thing we do as humans is trying to become someone else. It is okay to have a mentor. There’s nothing wrong admiring a friend but don’t let their success intimidate you.
Be yourself. If you fail to accept who you are, you will never discover yourself and reach your full potential in life.
8. Ready for extraordinary
The willingness to do something out of the box. It will surprise you what people think is amazing. Just a little modification makes you special. Until you embrace that part of you which is different from the rest of your colleagues, you will never be confident.
Instead of taking in other information and become exhausted with what people have to say, shut all entry points and listen to your inner man. Ponder over your life, think of how you want the future to look like. Draw that energy from inside and act with the courage.
10. Fake it
You might have heard this a thousand times. Fake it till you make it. Start living the life you wish to live 5 years from now. Act like you got it all together. Set a standard for yourself and all of the sudden, you will see things changing.
You will be shocked the girl you think is living in a golden house is just faking it. And your story is way better.
Lets face fact, as a man, you may date many women before arriving at your destination. Scaring away from them isn’t the right thing to do. Lest, you end up with the wrong woman.
If you want to choose the woman that best suits you, start coming out boldly to contact women for a date. Life’s full of disappointments. If one doesn’t want you, the other will.