On what base would you define a relationship as healthy? What signals makes you feel safe in a relationship? Is there something you look back into your previous relationship and would want to carry along or experience in your next relationship? Are you looking for signs of a healthy relationship?
Number one: a healthy relationship should be based on willingness to support each other. Number two: a quality of healthy relationship is mutual respect. Number three: free from oppressor’s rule. Number four: permitting each other to express themselves without fear of intimidation. Number five: paying attention to each other. Number six: respecting individual bounds. Number seven: understanding people’s uniqueness. Number eight: regard each other as a whole – singleness is wholeness.
What Are the Qualities of a Healthy Relationship
Willingness to Support Each Other
In every relationship, couples must understand there will be individual needs. Being it educational need, financial need, health issues, sexual need, family need etc.
The ability to encourage each other through the entirety of this life cycle will depend on how willing a partner is.
Love is reciprocal, so, is respect. In a healthy home, partners value each other’s opinions, status, no matter the class of the other person on the social ladder.
The practice of equality, not a caste system where there is a lower class whose job is only to submit and the other held high.
Free from Oppressor’s Rule
A healthy home is free from one partner pushing his or her will on the other. Insisting their likes and dislikes becoming the bench mark.
There’s the need for freedom of worship, equal access to education, agreeing on number of kids, choice of healthcare among others.
Expressing Feelings Openly
The ability to express your feelings without being shallowed by your partner.
If your relationship will last, you should be willing to create an environment where you both speak out your mind.
If you believe you should be heard, you must be willing to hear the other partner as well.
Paying Attention to Each Other
Having same platform to participate equally in affairs in the relationship.
As the relationship grows, you should get stronger admitting the plight of each other.
Not only paying attention to each other’s difficulties, but also contributing to alleviate their burden.
Respecting Individual Bounds
You cannot underestimate this. We all do have out set of priorities. And they should be considered. Time to be alone and process our lives as individuals.
Allocating each other enough time without partner’s interference.
Understanding People’s Uniqueness
In a relationship, even in a healthy relationship, there will be values you both need to consider and uphold. This, on the other hand, prevents a party from realizing their full potential.
There shouldn’t be pressure on any party to live to the expectation of the other. The quest to change your partner and make him or her deliver or behave or live according to your wish will hurt the relationship.
Agree and Disagree Without Abuse
When a relationship is healthy, couples disagree on issues without anyone getting hurt emotionally or physically.
In every relationship or human gathering, there is misunderstanding, how this issue is handled is what shows the maturity of both parties.
It is therefore necessary for each party to learn how to resolve issues without a fight.
Regard Each Other As A Whole Not Half
Singleness is not brokenness. Being single, is completeness. Relationship is not made up of two broken pieces looking forward to be whole.
Each person therefore, is whole not half, and should be seen and treated as such. Relationship is a union of two complete individuals with fully functional abilities.
It is therefore, necessary to allow each other to reach full potential in life.
Willingness to trust your partner. Playing cop and thief role is unhealthy for your relationship. Allow your partner to have friends and engage family.
A partner should be allowed to interact with opposite sex without judgment or constant suspicions.
As a married man or woman, you should respect your boundaries in dealing with coworkers, colleagues, and ex.
Avoid creating negative impressions in your relationship.
What Are the Right Ways to Start A Relationship?
- Step one: one at a time. Don’t unveil everything about you to your potential partner
- Step two: focus on your education, career, family and friends as individual
- Step three: avoid intimacy from the jumpstart. Put on hold the Romeo Juliet part for the time being
- Step four: don’t give all of your self at a go. Trust gradually
- Step five: stand for yourself. Don’t trash your personal values. They make you who you are
- Step six: believe in yourself
- Step seven: don’t burden your potential partner for needs
- Step eight: don’t start a relationship flaunting money – this is very important to note in early relationships. Too many people went into a nervous breakdown by spending on potential partners who later married other person. Any help you may offer, should be freewill offering e.g.; paying tuition fee, enrolling potential partner into apprenticeship etc.
- Step nine: team work. Your partner to be should be a team player
- Step ten: start off by respecting each other’s views
- Step eleven: be free to avoid anything you are uncomfortable with
- Step twelve: don’t allow early stage relationship take all your working or learning hours
- Step thirteen: consider if the partner meets your preference
- Do not enter relationship with expectations of having your need catered for
- Do not exchange your body for money if you intend having a permanent relationship
- Consider precautionary measures when having sexual intercourse
- Stop trying to change someone so that you can marry them
- Avoid having extra time for your partner’s friends
- Don’t be force into marriage
- Be mindful of people who force their choice on you. For example, demanding you like their favorite food, insisting to buy you dress, forcing a job on you to raise money that you can marry her
- Avoid lazy people
- Fault finding machine – stop looking for shortcoming in your partner
- Respect the will of your partner
- If you can’t trust someone, don’t marry them