We all want a lasting relationship with our partner. Here are 25 research-based ways to improve relationship with your boyfriend and have satisfying relationship.
Make friendship centerpiece of the relationship. Engage in sympathetic dialogue with your boyfriend by sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.
1. Build Intentional Friendship with Your Partner
It is true that long term friendships can sometimes out last couple relationships.
People married or in relationship may fall out of love but still keep their childhood friendship no matter how long they’ve known each other.
When a couple breakup, they may want to remain friends though they may completely cut out all romantic affiliations they ever hard.
Research by Dr. John Gottman shows that long-term romantic committed relationships are rooted in deep friendship.
In order to improve relationship with your partner, begin to see him or relate with him as your friend, because this is going to be the foundation that will support you to make good repairs, be optimistic about your relationship and even enjoy all the sex you desire.
To build intentional friendship with partner; get involve in recreational and new activities together, tell stories, read books together, ask questions about each other.
Remind yourselves about how you met.
2. Make Time to Have Fun
“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation,” says Plato.
Engaging in active conversation in relationship is a must, but you also want to incorporate play in your relationship.
This is going to help you reduce boredom and also present new opportunities to know your partner.
Furthermore, plays “can also promote the engagement and mastery of developmental tasks in adults,” says Naomi Brower.
For instance, kids are ushered into learning environment through plays. They then build learning skills and other skills based on their plays.
It is the same thing plays can do for adults.
Just as kids are attached to their object of play, when you play with your partner, you increase your chances to connect with him, have great communication, and resolve conflicts leading to relationship satisfaction.
3. Support Your Partner to Achieve His Dream
According to research by Dr. John Gottman, “Making life dreams come true is one of the core elements that leads to long-term relationship success.”
You don’t have to try hard to offer a help beyond your ability, encouraging your partner can be a great way to support him.
“Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective,” by Gary D. Chapman.
“Couples who honor one another’s hopes and ambitions are more likely to stay together than those who don’t,” Laura Silverstein.
4. Saying Words of Affirmation Regularly
“Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love,” says Gary D. Chapman.
- This haircut keeps me looking at you again and again.
- I really appreciate you taking me out tonight.
- Thanks for coming through for me. Couldn’t finish this assignment without you.
Expressing positive feelings about your partner’s effort shows your partner you value them and the things they do. It makes them want to help in any little or extreme way they could.
“It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires,” by Gary D. Chapman.
You don’t want to patronize your partner to get them to do things you want. Make sure your compliments are genuine.
5. Build Your Love Map
“The more you know about each other, the deeper your connection will be, leading to a happier and rewarding partnership,” says Dr. John Gottman.
Know your partner’s inner world, their history, worries, stresses, joy, and hopes by asking questions, noticing traits and habits.
6. Use the Powerful Emotional Communicator of Love
Spending quality time together is a healing portion. Dr. Chapman notes that when couples give 20 minutes of undivided attention to each other, they are giving each other 20 minutes of their lives.
This is not the time where you are scanning through WhatsApp status, watching housewives, it is the moment you are both paying equal attention either sitting on the couch talking and gazing at each other or taking a walk.
7. Understand That He Is Not Always A Superman
Even though men often were the superman suit to look confident, strong, invincible and immune, they can get vulnerable.
Unfortunately, your man may never say it verbally that he is fed up, tired or frustrated.
While you may lineup demands, understand that he is not always a superman even though he will try to stay so for you.
Understanding this helps leave some room for error and less criticism.
8. Plan Vacations Together
Share ideas on picking location, time, costume, and activities on vacation.
Going on vacation, going for camping, spending few hours visiting fun places e.g., zoo, waterfall, mountains and historic places can keep you refreshed and draw couples closer.
Do not plan everything and meet your partner with your final decision, let both of you take part in the decision making.
The process of deciding on where to spend your weekend, type of food to eat, drink to carry along, what to wear and activities to carry out will create bond and help you to find out each other’s preferences.
9. Go for Relationship Seminars
One common place to find proven ways to improve relationship with your partner is attending marriage seminars where experts share research-based methods and tools that worked for hundreds of couples.
There will be radio, TV, and other forms of marriage seminar publicity. Schedule time and go with your partner.
10. Read Relationship Books for Advice
It is said that men don’t buy books. If you are with a man who belongs to this category of men, you want to find a way of sneaking valuable relationship books into his belongings, leaving a couple book on the bed or reading it together with him.
If there’s no way to convince him to read the book, pass the knowledge to him through conversation, storytelling, fun games or any format he is likely to get it.
11. Criticize Less and Appreciate More
“Criticism expresses negative feelings or opinions about another person’s personality or character,” says Dr. John Gottman.
“When criticism becomes very frequent in a relationship, it paves the way for the other, far deadlier horsemen,” Gottman.
Instead of criticizing your partner more often, find a way of appreciating them for the little positive things they do.
12. Go on Date to Learn More About Each Other
Dating can bring partners closer. It rekindles the love. Also, plays a vital role in getting to know each other.
Don’t end dates after having each other. Plan more dates at different locations, in different styles.
13. Have less sex
Engaging in sexual act before marriage can throw your partner’s desire for you to the backyard. You should have something that keeps driving him crazy about you.
14. Respect Emotional and Physical Boundaries
You both need some time away from each other to be yourselves. Failure to allocate your partner some boundary will deteriorate your relationship.
15. Give Attention to Your Personal Development
Your personal development is important, invest in yourself. Enroll for courses, read books, go for weekend classes, take dancing class. Do whatever you can to build upon your skills.
When you upgrade yourself, you become more valuable, to yourself, and society at large. It is hard for people to discard you.
16. Have Positive Perspective of Your Partner
Having positive perspective of your partner means “that you give your partner the benefit of the doubt and you believe that you’re on the same team, which in turn solidifies your union and strengthens you from inside out,” says Dr. Gottman.
You know you have positive perspective of your partner and relationship when you’re away and you reminisce about past memories and you are eager to see your partner instead of meditating on your partner’s flaws.
Having positive perspective of your partner and relationship will make you solve problems effectively during conflict, make more repair attempts, and see your partner in a more positive light, according to Gottman.
Value and respect your partner’s thoughts, admire your partner. Express your love for your partner regularly and be physically affectionate.
17. Stop Comparing Him to Your Ex
Desist from comparing your boyfriend to your ex or others. Unhealthy comparison will damage your relationship.
18. Plan Activities That Interests Him
If he likes football, go to the stadium with him, you can go riding bicycle with him during leisure times. If he is into the outdoor space, join him plan activities that will make him proud.
19. Surprise Your Boyfriend
Surprise your boyfriend by showing support, buying him gifts, sending him good night and sweet dreams texts, washing his clothes, buying him a book, giving him a kiss and complimenting him when he least expects.
20. Try New Things with Your Partner
If you feel detached from your partner, try new things. New way of communicating, new plays, prepare different recipes, try different restaurant and invite friends to share moments with occasionally.
21. Manage Conflict with Your Partner
According to Dr. John Gottman, when you manage conflict rather than resolve conflict, it can help you learn more about your partner and ultimately bring you closer.
Gottman says, to manage conflict:
- Firstly, “you need to accept your partner’s influence,” consider your partner’s feelings and desire instead of doing things your way.
- Secondly, “whether problems are solvable or are recurring issues, you dialog about them.”
- Thirdly, “when you see yourself getting heated in an argument,” it is best to engage in something that will calm you, like, taking a walk or taking deep breaths.
22. Take Turn in Doing Assignment
Its not easy to get vulnerable, but it is the safest place to be in relationship. If you cannot get vulnerable and count on your partner, the relationship is not going anywhere.
When you find any school assignment difficult to do, don’t shy away from your partner. If they can help, let them in. You will find it a lot romantic if you do. It will create trust and bond.
23. Be Funny and Witty
“Women love men who make them smile and laugh. If you’re funny, you could be a great date and attract many women,” by Stella Belmar.
I do know men also want to smile and laugh. Men don’t always want stiff strict and highly emotional women.
They also need some break from argument, who should wash the dish, who should cook, who should babysit the kids.
So, to improve relationship with your boyfriend, be funny, create jokes, share happy moments with him.
24. Close Docket on Your Exes
Frequent mention of your blast from the past can become intimidating to your partner.
It is healthy to let your partner in on your past, very referring to the times you, receiving calls from them, texting them back, visiting them can alter your relationship negatively.
25. Bring Him into Your Environment
Letting a man into your personal space signals you are interested in him. Spending a lone time with him, introducing him to family and friends.
Taking a walk with him in public places, holding hands and playing together in gatherings.
It is not enough to win a heart, it is not enough to know what to do, you must value the heart you won, and you must be ready to keep winning it.
You must put in effort to maintain a good relationship between you and your partner. It takes a lot of work, planning and commitment but it is worth it.
If people at the end of divorce fight over who takes the cat or dog, you must fight now to take your man before it reaches there. If you are a man reading this, these will equally work for your girlfriend or wife.
Plan and act to have a better relationship with your spouse. Have fun, protect your fun from turning into conflict, schedule time with your partner to enjoy yourselves and try new things.