Glamorous weddings are everywhere. So is quicker separation like wild fire spreading. Every now and then, there is marriage ceremony, followed by separation next coming month.
Number one: mindset. Number two: lack of commitment. Number three: childbirth. Number four: marriage at tender age. Number five: infidelity. Number six: financial difficulties. Number seven: domestic violence.
10 Causes 0f Divorce Today
The quicker you run to the altar; the quicker you should schedule with your lawyer over who walks home with what?
As newly wedded couples are signing off, we see seasoned marriages also failing here and there.
This sets my heart on fire, and keep me asking questions about the causes of breakdown in marriages.
As I may not be entirely right, I see some of these repeatedly among young people dating, married and divorce.
Too many people may overlook this simple but sensitive part of what is going on in our communities. Our generation is that which takes things lightly. And marriage is adding up to the list of things we take for granted.
Marriage has become showoff. People borrow money, borrow flashy cars and hire expensive cooks for one day event. Amidst all these heavy spending, they have one thing at the back of their mind, if doesn’t work, I will just walk out and find another person or stay by myself.
Counseling is normal procedure. Same old same old. Do it for them. They want you at counseling section, after all how many weeks?
Just do it for them.
During counseling, husband and wife to be fights time and again, without resolving these issues, they rush to the alter because they have one thing at the back of their mind, if it doesn’t work, I’m out.
Two weeks or a month down the line. They are out. No effort to save this relationship. They’ve already made up their mind before exchanging vows.
It’s more of a generational problem than any other form of problem. In our time, everything moves fast and furious. We got fast food, instant passport, wait and get services all around us. Whatever we desire, it’s quicker to get.
There goes the phrase “just Google it”.
Fast internet delivers information like Clark Kent in Small Ville. We don’t have time to wait.
Before your blog post loads; we are already googling something else.
Change of heart and mind (unstable generation).
Patience is secondary matter. It is our era. This is how we perceive everything. Like Paul Walker’s sport cars in Fast and Furious.
Then the song goes “If you no like make we divorce” and everybody dance to the turn. Next day, they are truly separated. Over what?
No body knows. “I realize we are not just compatible.” Why didn’t you wait for the so-called Mr. or Miss compatible?
We too clever for our own good. Too smart to stay together. Many divorce applications on lawyers table today are a result of fast and furious marriage.
My colleagues are getting married, I am growing old, I want children.
Lack of Commitment
No fast and furious marriage can ever be built on the foundation of commitment. How could you be committed to someone you accidentally impregnated or got pregnant because contraceptives failed you?
Women are fighting equality day and night and forgetting their responsibility home. (I am not against women’s fight for equality). Men are busy chasing after money to win younger female hearts. Who can be committed in this nonsense?
When we finally decide to settle after the hide and seek over a year, we begin to cast our mind back at all we had to spend to go to bed with this ‘beautiful’ who is now with us. And it sets our hearts on fire.
Lack of commitment is responsible for early separation in marriages.
Decision to birth at a certain age or time in marriage becomes endless argument among couples after marriage. This is mostly common among young people who perhaps are new in learning trade or middle of education.
Pregnancy and childbirth can pin a woman to the kitchen rendering her fight for equality useless. When couples fail to come to any amicable decision, they go their separate ways.
At times, couples face medical difficulties preventing them from giving birth. This creates confusion between the husband’s immediate family and the wife.
Marrying at Tender Age
I personally don’t have problem with people marrying young. But this can be difficult for many young people to stay faithful in marriage.
They eventually get sick of the sex, they desire for more adventure with other people. They feel lured into an old grave.
Cheating has played great role in divorce. So many people don’t have the strength to withstand temptation, so they have outside affairs which causes their marriage.
Having Challenges with Money
During wedding, couples spend all of their wealth to throw a heavy, eye catching and record-breaking wedding. After few weeks into marriage, they notice, they broke their own record. Then, the fight begins.
Financial constrain at times or cheating or drug abuse or excessive alcohol intake causes some men to grow violent home. Children and mothers mostly suffer from domestic violence.
As things become unbearable, the couples separate to go their ways.
Health problems can pose danger in relationships. Being it physical health or mental health. Health issues drains fund. And leave couples desperate and confused.
Frequent misunderstanding and complains can breakup marriage.
As time changes, people’s identities are unveiled, and couples begin to doubt their initial decisions. Others grow tired of staying with the same person and they want to try something new.
Some couples don’t feel the chemistry which existed at first sight. They gradually wear apart and go their separate ways.