In 2018, 14 comments were made on the topic “How could I contact a girl whose number I got from someone else?” by Quora, Stack Exchange, and Girls Ask Guys users. According to ten participants, she should be contacted via text for the first time. Here’s a step by step guide to help you text her in a minute.
Text a casual message to avoid sending bad signal. Don’t be emotional. Introduce yourself in a short sentence. Don’t sound like stalker, be fun to listen to and text her about who you got her number from.
1. Text a Casual Message to Avoid Sending Bad Signal
For fear that your text could be ignored or replied harshly it is hard to know what to text a girl whose number you got.
Many at times, this leads to sending a message that leaves a bad signal.
- Instead of going all out, be mindful to send only causal text i.e. your name and greeting
- When you chat over social media, you may add your photo to the text
- You may ask about her family and work if you are friends
- Feel free to mention the work you do and where you live
- If you are not sure she remembers you, go on to mention things that will remind her
- When she didn’t reply text for 24 hours, text again checking on her or call
- When she does not answer or call back after 3 times reaching her, move on
- To make things easier, ask questions on something she’s good at to start a conversation (Hello, it’s Richard from Liverpool. I need help with a recipe)
- When you hit up a girl after you got her number, do not text sensitive message
- Do not send long message
- Desist from talking about her look
- Stay away from any sexually motivated word
- If you call, don’t speak for long, stay with basic information
- If she’s an old friend, the conversation may take minutes, don’t wait till she excuse you
- Don’t talk about how much you earn and don’t share too many personal details
- Do not text or call at odd time especially if you are not sure of her relationship status
- Do not ask of her marital status or speak about yours unless the conversation happens to go that lane and this was raised by her
- Don’t keep sending many texts if she fails to reply
Finding difficulty approaching girls? I have a post which removes all mysteries surrounding approaching a girl for the first time and getting her number.
It’s about time you become a man. Make sure you read this article first and come back here to learn how to text.
How to Avoid Messages That Send Bad Signal
Whether you are texting a girl who did not give you her number or a girl you barely know, the steps below will help you when nervous.
- Do not send text immediately
- Relax for about 3 – 4 hours
- Write a few texts on paper
- Read them out loud to your hearing to listen to how they sound
- Think of her as a sister or a friend with no emotional attachment
- Practice for a while before sending your first text
Take a look at this real life example. This is the story that inspired this article.
My brother’s wife visited us and while we were chatting one day; she pulled her smartphone and showed me pictures of her friends.
Asked me to pick one.
Funny right? Well I did. It happened that the one I picked was the same person staying with her children because her husband also travelled.
One day, they were speaking on the phone and I asked to talk to her.
Me: Hello, how're you doing?
Her: Fine and you?
Me: Would it be ok with you when I call you another time on my number?
Her: That's ok.
After two days, I text her.
Me: Hi, its Michael. We talked over the phone few days ago. Happy's brother in-law.
Her: Sorry, can make you up.
Me: The guy who spoke with you on Happy's phone.
Her: Ok, I remember you.
Her: Can I see your picture?
Me: I will but I'm at work now when I get home I'll call and introduce myself then send you the picture. Is that ok with you?
Her: Am fine with that.
That was a pretty short conversation. Nothing to worry about. It’s just so simple as that.
Going forward you’ll see another real life example and learn more about how to create a similar text message.
2. Introduce Yourself
After setting the right mood and environment, it is time to send your first text.
Add your name at the beginning of the text or sign the text with your name at the end for her to identify the sender.
Don’t send anonymous text. Don’t use the name she is not familiar with. You’ll look like a stalker and a coward.
- It’s Joe from Mexico …….. [text]
- [Text] …. Jefferson
Take a look at this real life example.
Recently, I saw a status on a friend’s WhatsApp wishing her sister happy birthday.
I decided to befriend her. So I asked for the contact and this was my approach.
I took a screenshot of her sister’s status and sent her this first text.
Am guessing you're preparing for the birthday party this night. I'll invite myself - Lol - Happy Birthday 🎉 from a new friend, Michael Truth inside Volta Region. Saw the wishes on your sister's status and I want to say hello and get to know you more. Save me a champagne 🍾 Matilda.....
Let’s analyze this first text
- I added the screenshot to my text so she knows what I’m talking about and as evidence that I am somehow connected to her.
- I joined the conversation of the day: her birthday which happened to be a hot topic at the moment.
- I made the text funny, talking about party and inviting myself, then adding lol to make her know I was playing.
- In this text I didn’t start with my name, neither signed off rather my name and location came in the middle of the text because of the text structure.
- Also, I talked about where I got the number: more on that later.
- I went ahead to state the reason I was writing her.
The major lesson in this text is how simple, short and funny the structure is. It wasn’t official. Look at the punctuations. So informal.
Let’s see the benefit of the format of this first text.
- This first text actually took so much pressure off the writer.
- The girl thinks you are funny and wants to exchange more text with you.
- Because of it’s informal nature, she is not under pressure to reply or think about the text or the writer.
- It’s so friendly she wants to know who could be sending such a warm message. It sounds as a friend whose number she doesn’t have.
- In addition the text stated my intention so I don’t have to sweat answering ‘why are you writing?’
3. Don’t Sound Like a Stalker
Three respondents to the aforementioned 2018 online forum question cautioned against getting in touch with her since you’ll come off as a stalker.
To avoid coming off as a stalker;
- When you text her, avoid talking about how long it took you to get her number
- Don’t mention how you admire her
- Don’t confess your undying love
- If you compliment her, make compliment on personality not look e.g., don’t say you look beautiful say you look official in this outfit: the later describes her quality than look
- Say compliments that are only true else avoid them
4. Don’t Try to be a Gentle Man
You’ll be amazed how your gentleman and nice text will turn her off quicker than asking for a loan.
The reason is simple. Since history of mate selection, women always want a masculine man. A man who will protect her and her children.
- Do not use please in your text
- Do not sound childish
- Avoid statements that implies you are not in control of things
- Be decisive
- Send straight forward text
- Don’t text her what she wants to hear but tired of hearing e.g., I love you.
5. Ask Your Friend to Inform Her Earlier
Out of the 14 answers to the topic, one respondent suggested asking your friend to tell the girl that you are exchanging contact information with her.
To make texting her easy, ask your friend to inform her especially if you never had any formal interaction.
This does not only make texting easy but it also makes you not to look like an intruder or a stalker.
6. Find Out About Her Relationship Status
Knowing her relationship status can give you a sense of relief.
So, ask your friend about her relationship status or head over to Facebook to read her profile.
7. State Source of Information
This is what has been keeping you confused 🤔 with your text box for weeks or even months after getting her number from a friend.
Wondering what to say if she asks where you got the number?
In my personal experience, most girls don’t care. So this should be your less worry. But if you want to or she demands, be honest with her.
In the story stated above, the girl asked me about it even though I said that in the text.
Mld: Please do I know you
beginnersdateguide.com: You are about to….and am yet to know you as well….
Mld: Please who gave you my number
beginnersdateguide.com: Your sister. Saw the birthday wishes and I wanted to join the party as well.
Mld: No problem
Mld: Please may I know your name
beginnersdateguide.com: Michael Truth
If your friend prefers to remain anonymous, few minutes of Facebook search will give you her contact.
Still having challenge at this point texting; I recommend reading how to get a girl to like you over text. This will give you absolute control over your first text and subsequent ones.
What to Text a Girl After Getting Her Number
Texting a girl for the first time can be intimidating, but not when you are equipped with the right information.
Here are examples of Correct/Incorrect First Text.
|Correct first text to send a girl after getting her number||Wrong first text to send a girl after getting her number|
|Hello! This is Adam. Your course mate at Border College. Just got your number from one of our mates.||Hello! This is Adam. Your course mate at Border College. Ever since we left college, you have been on my mind and I wish we meet any time soon.|
|Hi, its Michael. We talked over the phone few days ago. Happy’s brother in-law.||Hi, it’s Michael. We talked over the phone a few days ago. Your voice keeps ringing in my memory. I watch your photograph each day. Happy’s brother-in-law.|
|Hey, its Henry. Thanks for coming to the birthday party. Got your number from your friend Tina to say hello!||Hey, it’s Henry. Thanks for coming to the birthday party. Got your number from your friend Tina to say hello! You were so hot.|
|Hello, I’m Jason from the bar. Have a nice day!||This is Jason, forgot to take your contact. Had to ask around. Stay in touch.|
|Good evening, was the one that fixed the lamp for you. Hope its still working. Ferguson.||If you fail to save this number, you will be missing out a lot. The most handsome guy in LA. Text back soon!|
When to Text a Girl After Getting Her Number
Looking for how soon should you text a girl after getting her number?
According to Matt Artisan from The Attractive Man, you should text within 24 hours after picking the number.
Depending on the effectiveness of your first impression, 3 – 4 hours is appropriate.
If you created a strong connection on first day, waiting anywhere between a day to two won’t break the link.
Texting a girl is not a Billing Basal body temperature method for family planning.
Are you marking days of the week on your calendar; looking at the day you picked the number and when the appropriate time would be to reach her?
It’s normal to feel so. But it’s now time for action.
Send your introductory message the first day after getting her number. When the first day seems inconvenient, send it on the second or third day.
While there’s no one fit for this, you do not want to waste much time texting her.
Remember your first message is only an attempt to make her get your number and be aware you are interested in following up on the last meeting.
How to Text a Girl Who Doesn’t Know You Have Her Number
- Elsie, how is your day going? Just picked your number from Facebook. Reagan.
- Good morning sunshine, this is Stephen, it’s been a while.
- This is your course mate Fedrick, just found your number in my diary, checking if it’s still available.
- Hey was asking of you from Fortune Maxwell today, I took your contact to say hello. How are you doing? Kingsley.
- Hello there! Before I had the chance to take your number, you were already gone, had to ask your friend. Anthony, the guy’s birthday party you attended. Thanks for coming, hope you enjoyed it.
How to Text A Girl If She Doesn’t Have Your Number
Remove the mentality of fear of rejection. Do not sub-communicate anything that shows eagerness.
Use texting as a way of making a simple connection, asking quick questions, and arranging dates.
1. Stop Being Scared of Rejection
Your nonverbal signals will betray you, miles away before you approach the girl of your dream.
If you are not confident, a girl can tell by how you stand, your body movement, and so on.
In texting, there’s no way to show bravery or timidity through nonverbal cues yet these can be revealed through the coded language behind your text.
Girls are naturally blessed with communication skills; they can read between lines and figure out all hidden pieces of information which you may not even be aware of yourself.
So before sending your first text, put your fear under control and go ahead and send your text.
2. Use Text to Make Simple Connection
Before you plan on doing back and forth texting with a girl, the kind of text that takes many hours, you need to have that personal connection with her.
Your first text should be that exact channel that creates the opportunity for that connection.
While you wait on meeting again sometime, after it been your first-time handshake or preparation for second date, “Texting is the bridge between when you see her, and when you see her again.” Chase Amante.
So, when you write your first text, let it serve as a bridge between when you see her and you’ll meet again not as in the way you will talk to her in person or on phone if you already establish a personal connection with her.
3. Avoid Messages Without Emotion
Don’t send lame texts like “what’s up?”, “how’s the going?” Research shows that messages like this end up giving the recipient a mental load.
And what happens? Instead of replying, she ignores it all together to avoid the stress of figuring out what to say back.
When you text, make your intention clear in that she hears you out loud and clear and knows what to text back.
4. Arrange to Meet in Person
Before you type your first letter, know that: “A girl’s text message inbox is one of the most efficient “guy screening” tools ever invented.” Moe Abbassi.
Find a link to start a conversation with your first text. Feel free to state your reason for texting.
Keep your text friendly and plain. Talk about how you got the number.
You don’t need to come up with witty lines or the perfect meme. What you need is to create a channel that grants you the link to ask her out on a date.
So you don’t screw your first date; here’s a guide to hold her hand first time.
“Hey Sarah, thrilled by the brilliant display of knowledge at the quiz competition this weekend at the community center.”
“You should take on a champion like me as well, but before then, you need a refreshment. Let me know when your schedule’s clear, and let’s set it up.”
While you continue to weigh the option of texting, let me introduce you to another effective option which feels more personal.
How to Start a Conversation with a Girl You Just Got Her Number from a Friend
- Use her online status e.g., WhatsApp dp, Facebook post, Instagram picture to start a conversation.
- Reference a previous experience you had with her to reconnect with her.
- Start the chat by talking about the friend who gave you the number. ‘This morning I run into Elsie, your college friend at the mall. I took your number to see how you are winning at your area.’ Mathew.
- Share her special moment with her e.g., you are enjoying your birthday all by yourself without me. For not inviting me, you owe me a chat – lol, Stephen
- Avoid texting hi to start the conversation or any word which does not trigger her emotions.
- Keep your text brief and concise to avoid error.
What to Text a Girl When You Get Her Number
|Strike conversation with first text||Ask her out with first text|
|Nice meeting you. Patrick.||What a get together weekend. Too crowdy this weekend for me. Next one I want an escape from bunch of friends. A place for one-on-one conversation. If you have some friends to hide from, we can use my refuge. Let me know early so I make time for it.|
|Happy thanks giving day! Glad you made it. Henry.||There’s something about your Instagram images that tells me you work relentlessly to achieve the best shot. I have a photo studio and we work like hell to provide only the best. This is a place you should be for another killer shot. Nothing but professional output awaits you. Its your call. Halla me if you in.|
|Hey damsel, its Quincy from AT&T. Are you home yet?|
|Beatrice, it’s been thousand years. Where have you been? Got your number from Isaac. Festus.|
|Hey ya! Found you on Facebook. Armstrong.|
First Text to a Girl After You Get Her Number
- Hello Cynthia, this is Alfred. Talk to you soon.
- It was fun last night. Cephas.
- Am guessing you’re preparing for the birthday party this night. I’ll invite myself – Lol – Happy Birthdayfrom a new friend, Michael Truth. Saw the wishes on your sister’s status and I want to say hello and get to know you more. Save me a champagne Mavis…
How to Text Someone Who Doesn’t Know You Have Their Number
Mention the source of the number, tell the person your name that they are aware of who they’re replying to, and say greetings.
Mention where you know the person or where you met.
If you met at a gathering, or a party, school, he/she is a family let them know. Introduce yourself for easy identity.
Alternatively, ask the person who has the number to inform her, if she gives the go-ahead, then you can take the number and it will be much easier to reach her.
Whenever you send text message for the first time, stay away from using romantic words. Do not write lengthy text, as she will feel bored. You are likely to make mistakes when you write more text.
Remember to keep text short and simple, text where you met, mention your name, and do not sound needy. In short, do not leave a bad signal.
As texting may play proportional role in relationship; newly established ones equally need physical interactions. So therefore, don’t hide behind text messages to build a relationship. Talk on phone and also arrange date.
Only speaking over text do not build intimacy. You should spend time together outside technology, get to know each other. This way, you are creating room for deeper emotional attachment.