In 2018, 14 comments were made on the topic “How could I contact a girl whose number I got from someone else?” by Quora, Stack Exchange, and Girls Ask Guys, users. According to ten participants, she should be contacted via text for the first time. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you text her in a minute.
Text a casual message to avoid sending a bad signal. Don’t be emotional. Introduce yourself in a short sentence. Don’t sound like a stalker, be fun to listen to and text her about who you got her number from.
Let’s see the details.
1. Text a Casual Message to Avoid Sending a Bad Signal
What to text a girl after getting her number can be challenging. To remove all the complexities and doubts surrounding this, text a casual message.
Here are the dos and don’ts when you text someone after getting their number.
- Instead of going all out, be mindful to send only causal text i.e. your name and greeting
- When you chat over social media, you may add your photo to the text
- You may ask about her family and work if you are friends
- Feel free to mention the work you do and where you live
- If you are not sure she remembers you, go on to mention things that will remind her
- When she didn’t reply to the text in 24 hours, text again to check on her or call
- When she does not answer or call back after 3 times reaching her, move on
- To make things easier, ask questions about something she’s good at to start a conversation (Hello, it’s Richard from Liverpool. I need help with a recipe)
- When you hit up a girl after you got her number, do not text a sensitive message
- Do not send a long message
- Desist from talking about her look
- Stay away from any sexually motivated word
- If you call, don’t speak for long, stay with basic information
- If she’s an old friend, the conversation may take minutes, don’t wait till she excuses you
- Don’t talk about how much you earn and don’t share too many personal details
- Do not text or call at an odd time especially if you are not sure of her relationship status
- Do not ask about her marital status or speak about yours unless the conversation happens to go that lane and this was raised by her
- Don’t keep sending many texts if she fails to reply
Finding difficulty approaching girls? I have a post that removes all mysteries surrounding approaching a girl for the first time and getting her number.
It’s about time you become a man. Make sure you read this article first and come back here to learn how to text.
How to Avoid Messages That Send Bad Signals
Whether you are texting a girl who did not give you her number or a girl you barely know, the steps below will help you.
To start a conversation after getting her number,
- Do not send texts immediately
- Relax for about 3 – 4 hours
- Write a few texts on paper
- Read them out loud to your hearing to listen to how they sound
- Think of her as a sister or a friend with no emotional attachment
- Practice for a while before sending your first text
Take a look at this real-life example. This is the story that inspired this article.
My brother’s wife visited us and while we were chatting one day; she pulled out her smartphone and showed me pictures of her friends.
Asked me to pick one.
Funny right? Well, I did. It happened that the one I picked was the same person staying with her children because her husband also traveled.
One day, they were speaking on the phone and I asked to talk to her.
Me: Hello, how’re you doing?
Her: Fine and you?
Me: Would it be ok with you when I call you another time on my number?
Her: That’s ok.
After two days, I text her.
Me: Hi, its Michael. We talked over the phone few days ago. Happy’s brother in-law.
Her: Sorry, can make you up.
Me: The guy who spoke with you on Happy’s phone.
Her: Ok, I remember you.
Her: Can I see your picture?
Me: I will but I’m at work now when I get home I’ll call and introduce myself then send you the picture. Is that ok with you?
Her: Am fine with that.
That was a pretty short conversation. Nothing to worry about. It’s just as simple as that.
Going forward you’ll see another real-life example and learn more about how to create a similar text message.
2. Introduce Yourself
After setting the right mood and environment, it is time to send your first text. To start a conversation with a girl you don’t know,
- Add your name at the beginning of the text or sign the text with your name at the end for her to identify the sender.
- Don’t send an anonymous text. Don’t use a name she is not familiar with. You’ll look like a stalker and a coward.
- It’s Joe from Mexico …….. [text]
- [Text] …. Jefferson
First text to a girl after you get her number examples
Recently, I saw a status on a friend’s WhatsApp wishing her sister a happy birthday. I decided to befriend her. So I asked for the contact and this was my approach.
I took a screenshot of her sister’s status and sent her this first text.
Am guessing you’re preparing for the birthday party this night. I’ll invite myself – Lol – Happy Birthday 🎉 from a new friend, Michael Truth inside Volta Region. Saw the wishes on your sister’s status and I want to say hello and get to know you more. Save me a champagne 🍾 Matilda…..
Let’s analyze this first text
- I added the screenshot to my text so she knows what I’m talking about and as evidence that I am somehow connected to her.
- I joined the conversation of the day: her birthday which happened to be a hot topic at the moment.
- I made the text funny, talking about the party and inviting myself, then adding lol to make her know I was joking.
- In this text, I didn’t start with my name, nor sign off rather my name and location came in the middle of the text because of the text structure.
- Also, I talked about where I got the number: more on that later.
- I went ahead to state the reason I was writing her.
The major lesson in this text is how simple, short, and funny the structure is. It wasn’t official. Look at the punctuation. So informal.
Let’s see the benefit of the format of this first text.
- This first text actually took so much pressure off the writer.
- The girl thinks you are funny and wants to exchange more texts with you.
- Because of its informal nature, she is not under pressure to reply or think about the text or the writer.
- It’s so friendly she wants to know who could be sending such a warm message. It sounds like a friend whose number she doesn’t have.
- In addition, the text stated my intention so I don’t have to sweat answering ‘Why are you writing?’
3. Don’t Sound Like a Stalker
Three respondents to the aforementioned 2018 online forum question cautioned against getting in touch with her since you’ll come off as a stalker.
To avoid coming off as a stalker;
- When you text her, avoid talking about how long it took you to get her number
- Don’t mention how you admire her
- Don’t confess your undying love
- If you compliment her, make a compliment on her personality not look e.g., don’t say you look beautiful say you look official in this outfit: the latter describes her quality rather than look
- Say compliments that are only true else avoid them
4. Don’t Try to be a Gentleman
You’ll be amazed how your gentleman and nice text will turn her off quicker than asking for a loan.
The reason is simple. Since the history of mate selection, women always wanted a masculine man. A man who will protect her and her children.
- Do not use please in your text
- Do not sound childish
- Avoid statements that imply you are not in control of things
- Be decisive
- Send straightforward text
- Don’t text her what she wants to hear but is tired of hearing e.g., I love you.
5. Ask Your Friend to Inform Her Earlier
Out of the 14 answers to the topic, one respondent suggested asking your friend to tell the girl that you are exchanging contact information with her.
To make texting her easy, ask your friend to inform her especially if you never had any formal interaction.
This not only makes texting easy but also makes you not look like an intruder or a stalker.
6. Find Out About Her Relationship Status
Knowing her relationship status can give you a sense of relief.
So, ask your friend about her relationship status or head over to Facebook to read her profile especially when you text a girl who doesn’t know you have her number.
7. Tell her where you got her number
This is what has been keeping you confused 🤔 with your text box for weeks or even months after getting her number from a friend.
Wondering what to say if she asks where you got the number?
In my personal experience, most girls don’t care. So this should be your less worry. But if you want to or she demands, be honest with her.
In the story stated above, the girl asked me about it even though I said that in the text.
Mld: Please do I know you
beginnersdateguide.com: You are about to….and am yet to know you as well….
Mld: Please who gave you my number
beginnersdateguide.com: Your sister. Saw the birthday wishes and I wanted to join the party as well.
Mld: No problem
Mld: Please may I know your name
beginnersdateguide.com: Michael Truth
If your friend prefers to remain anonymous, a few minutes of Facebook search will give you her contact.
Still having challenges at this point texting; I recommend reading how to get a girl to like you over text. This will give you absolute control over your first text and subsequent ones.
What to Text a Girl After Getting Her Number
Texting a girl for the first time can be intimidating, but not when you are equipped with the right information.
Here are examples of Correct/Incorrect First Text.
|Correct first text after getting her number||Incorrect first text after getting her number|
|Good evening, I was the one that fixed the lamp for you. Hope it’s still working. Ferguson.||Correct the first text after getting her number|
|Hi, it’s Michael. We talked over the phone a few days ago. Your voice keeps ringing in my memory. I watch your photographs each day. Happy’s brother-in-law.||Hey, it’s Henry. Thanks for coming to the birthday party. Got your number from your friend Tina to say hello!|
|Hey, its Henry. Thanks for coming to the birthday party. Got your number from your friend Tina to say hello!||Hey, it’s Henry. Thanks for coming to the birthday party. Got your number from your friend Tina to say hello! You were so hot.|
|Hello, I’m Jason from the bar. Have a nice day!||This is Jason, forgot to take your contact. Had to ask around. Stay in touch.|
|Hey missing me already…. It’s Sam the most handsome guy in LA… Lol||If you fail to save this number, you will be missing out on a lot. The most handsome guy in LA. Text back soon!|
When to Text a Girl After Getting Her Number
Looking for how soon should you text a girl after getting her number?
You should text a girl within 24 hours of picking her number. This helps you maintain the connection and impression you left on her mind.
According to Matt Artisan from The Attractive Man, you should text within 24 hours after picking the number. Also, depending on the effectiveness of your first impression, 3 – 4 hours is appropriate.
If you created a strong connection on the first day, waiting anywhere between a day to two won’t break the link.
Texting a girl is not a Billing Basal body temperature method for family planning.
Are you marking days of the week on your calendar; looking at the day you picked the number and when the appropriate time would be to reach her?
It’s normal to feel so. But it’s now time for action.
Send your introductory message the first day after getting her number. When the first day seems inconvenient, send it on the second or third day.
While there’s no one fit for this, you do not want to waste much time texting her.
Remember your first message is only an attempt to make her get your number and be aware you are interested in following up on the last meeting.
How to Text a Girl Who Doesn’t Know You Have Her Number
- Elsie, how is your day going? Just picked your number from Facebook. Reagan.
- Good morning sunshine, this is Stephen, it’s been a while.
- This is your course mate Fedrick, just found your number in my diary, checking if it’s still available.
- Hey was asking of you from Fortune Maxwell today, I took your contact to say hello. How are you doing? Kingsley.
- Hello there! Before I had the chance to take your number, you were already gone, had to ask your friend. Anthony, the guy’s birthday party you attended. Thanks for coming, hope you enjoyed it.
How to Text A Girl for the First Time
Texting a girl for the first time had never been an easy task for most men. If you are feeling nervous right now, you are not alone.
Here is the right article for you to find the strength to text a girl for the first time.
1. Stop Being Scared of Rejection
Your nonverbal signals will betray you, miles away before you approach the girl of your dream.
If you are not confident, a girl can tell by how you stand, your body movement, and so on.
In texting, there’s no way to show bravery or timidity through nonverbal cues yet these can be revealed through the coded language behind your text.
Girls are naturally blessed with communication skills; they can read between lines and figure out all hidden pieces of information which you may not even be aware of yourself.
So before sending your first text, put your fear under control and go ahead and send your text.
2. Use Text to Make Simple Connections
Before you plan on doing back-and-forth texting with a girl, the kind of text that takes many hours, you need to have that personal connection with her.
Your first text should be that exact channel that creates the opportunity for that connection.
While you wait on meeting again sometime, after it has been your first handshake or preparation for a second date, “Texting is the bridge between when you see her, and when you see her again.” Chase Amante.
So, when you write your first text, let it serve as a bridge between when you see her and you’ll meet again not as in the way you will talk to her in person or on the phone if you already establish a personal connection with her.
How to Start a Conversation with a Girl You Just Got Her Number from a Friend
- Use her online status e.g., WhatsApp dp, Facebook post, Instagram picture to start a conversation.
- Reference a previous experience you had with her to reconnect with her.
- Start the chat by talking about the friend who gave you the number. ‘This morning I ran into Elsie, your college friend at the mall. I took your number to see how you are winning in your area.’ Mathew.
- Share her special moment with her e.g., you are enjoying your birthday all by yourself without me. For not inviting me, you owe me a chat – lol, Stephen
- Avoid texting hi to start the conversation or any word which does not trigger her emotions.
- Keep your text brief and concise to avoid errors.
What to Text a Girl When You Get Her Number
Texts to ask her out on first date when you get her number
What a get-together weekend. Too crowded this weekend for me. Next, I want an escape from a bunch of friends. A place for a one-on-one conversation. If you have some friends to hide from, we can use my refuge. Let me know early so I make time for it.
There’s something about your Instagram images that tells me you work relentlessly to achieve the best shot. I have a photo studio and we work like hell to provide only the best. This is a place you should be for another killer shoot. Nothing but professional output awaits you. It’s your call. Halla me if you in.
Texts to start a conversation after getting her number
Happy Thanksgiving day! Glad you made it. Henry.
Nice meeting you. Patrick.
Hey damsel, it’s Quincy from AT&T. Are you home yet?
Hey ya! Found you on Facebook. Armstrong.
Beatrice, it’s been thousand years. Where have you been? Got your number from Isaac. Festus.
First Text to a Girl After You Get Her Number
- Hello Cynthia, this is Alfred. Talk to you soon.
- It was fun last night. Cephas.
- Am guessing you’re preparing for the birthday party this night. I’ll invite myself – Lol – Happy Birthday from a new friend, Michael Truth. Saw the wishes on your sister’s status and I want to say hello and get to know you more. Save me a champagne, Mavis…
How to Text Someone Who Doesn’t Know You Have Their Number
Mention the source of the number, tell the person your name that they are aware of who they’re replying to, and say greetings.
Mention where you know the person or where you met.
If you met at a gathering, a party, or school, he/she is a family let them know. Introduce yourself for easy identity.
Alternatively, ask the person who has the number to inform her, if she gives the go-ahead, then you can take the number and it will be much easier to reach her.
Whenever you send a text message for the first time, stay away from using romantic words. Do not write lengthy text, as she will feel bored. You are likely to make mistakes when you write more text.
Remember to keep the text short and simple, text where you met, mention your name and do not sound needy. In short, do not leave a bad signal.
As texting may play a proportional role in relationships; newly established ones equally need physical interactions. So, therefore, don’t hide behind text messages to build a relationship. Talk on the phone and also arrange a date.
Only speaking over text does not build intimacy. You should spend time together outside of technology, and get to know each other. This way, you are creating room for deeper emotional attachment.
Let me know which step you will be applying in your text message in the comments.