101 Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Do not assume you know a person until they tell you everything about themselves. Do not only be on the answering side.

Questions to ask before marriage

Ask questions about their personal life, financial status, past relationships, their intention, faith, anger management, sexual compatibility, medical history, plans for birth, and even sexual orientation since our gender keeps broadening each day.

170 General Questions to ask before marriage

1. How sure are you about moving forward with this relationship?
2. How many children do you wish to have and what is your timeline for having them?
3. Have there been any marriages you witnessed that shaped your view of marriage either positive or negative?
4. Do you prefer shifting blames when there are crises?
5. What are your political priorities?
6. What is your relationship with your father like?
7. What do you think about fatherhood and what are your expectations?
8. What kind of parent do you hope to be?
9. How are you planning to provide for your family?
10. If you have children how do you plan on educating them, i.e., public or private or homeschool?

11. What is your health and eating habit?
12. What do you want to do if we cannot have children?
13. How did your previous relationships end?
14. Have you ever cheated on someone?
15. Have you ever been violent towards a past girlfriend or anyone else?
16. How do you handle secrets?
17. Do you think my life is exemplary enough to influence you and our children as our relationship grows?
18. How are you willing to adjust the time spent on your hobby or professional career to be with your family?
19. How do you like to be supported?
20. What do you want our future to look like?

21. How do you manage your emotions? Are you good at handling them?
22. What are your expectations when it comes to house chores i.e., cooking, sweeping, cleaning etc?
23. Are you open to going to couples counseling before or during or after marriage?
24. What are your views on vacations?
25. What do you refer to as intimacy?
26. What faith do you wish to raise your children in?
27. What is your expectation in marriage to have friends of the opposite gender?
28. How do you handle failure?
29. What values do you want to instill in your children?

30. How do you want to discipline your kids?
31. What would you do if one of our children do not want to go to college?
32. When can I meet your daddy?
33. How much say do children have in the family?
34. How comfortable are you around children?
35. Do you think it’s ok to discipline your child in public?
36. How involved do you want grandparents to be in our parenting?
37. How can I be better at communicating with you?
38. How are we with each other’s family?
39. Do have past problems with alcohol, drug, and gambling?

40. How would our experiences with our ex affect our marriage?
41. What are your views on infidelity?
42. Is your dad and mum together?
43. What are your religious views on marriage?
44. Do you get high?
45. Do you have an issue marrying a Christian partner?
46. How would you regard prayer and church activities in marriage?
47. What is more important, worth or family?
48. What would you do when someone said something bad about me?
49. What is your name? Is that your real name?

50. Do you have your daddy’s name?
51. How do you act when you get angry? Do you cut yourself, hit the refrigerator, curse, or swear, what do you look like or do?
52. Do you have a job?
53. Where are you working?
54. Do you stay with your parents?
55. Who provides for the family if you leave with your parents?
56. What do you like to eat?
57. How do you handle disagreement?
58. Would you ever consider divorce?
59. How do you look without makeup?
60. Is that your own hair?

61. Do you have a house or do you leave in an apartment?
62. Do you wear eyelashes or maintain what God gave you?
63. What would you do if we fell out of love?
64. What are your career aspirations?
65. What would you like to be doing 5 or 10 years from now?
66. How do you think life would change if we got married?
67. Do you prefer a private wedding to a mass wedding?
68. What do you know about marriage?
69. Why do you want to get married?
70. Why haven’t you married till now?

71. How important is the wedding anniversary to you?
72. What is your biggest fear about marriage?
73. Are you afraid to talk to me about anything?
74. Are your boobs natural or the work of a surgeon?
75. Why are you wearing tattoos?
76. How can I help you when you are stressed?
77. What are your deal breakers?
78. Have you been raised in a Christian home?
79. Why do you wear more than one earring? Would you add more in the future?
80. What do the rings on your fingers mean? Do you take them down sometimes?

81. What is your motive for approaching me?
82. Why do you think I will be your partner for life?
83. Which race are you attracted to?
84. What is the one thing you have to have in order to feel comfortable?
85. How much space do you need?
86. If I became a full-time professional, could you manage to be a full-time parent?
87. Which of my friends deserves the most respect and why?
88. How do we handle conflict and how could we be better at it?
89. What would you do if you struggled to get pregnant?

90. When you reach your current goal, can you see yourself developing another dream?
91. What value do you put on religion?
92. How much value do you put on your job and what would happen if you are fired or transferred?
Sex questions to ask before marriage
93. What did your parents teach you about sex?
94. Do you have any sexual trauma you would like to discuss?
95. Have you resolved all sexual relationships?
96. What are your sexual expectations?
97. What are your sexual deal breakers?
98. When was the last time you got tested?
99. Has sexual intimacy been part of your previous relationships?

100. Are you drawn to me because of my buttocks?
101. Do you watch pornography or engage in masturbation and how often?
102. Are you attracted to men or women?
103. Do you want to marry because you want to hide your real gender to avoid backlash?
104. Have you ever been involved with the same sex at any point in your life?
105. Do you depend on drugs for sex?
106. How do you view natural family planning?
107. How long does it take you to get satisfied?
108. Would one man be able to satisfy your sexual desire?
109. Is your father having other women in his life?
110. What do you think of orgasm?

Financial questions you should ask your partner before getting married

111. Are you a saver or a spender?
112. How much debt do you have?
113. Do you plan to pay the debts together or separately?
114. Should you combine finances?
115. What is your credit score?
116. What is your timeline for buying a home?
117. Do you plan on supporting your family outside the marriage?
118. Who do you expect to handle the payment of bills?
119. How much do you think is ok to spend without consulting your spouse?
120. What is your plan for home security, are you ok with having guns in the house?

121. Do you think it is important to save for retirement?
122. Would you be ready to get a second job if we have financial problems?
123. What are your views about renting or buying a home?
124. What are your views when it comes to charitable giving?
125. How much money do you earn?
126. How was money managed in your home growing up?
127. What are your financial goals?
128. What are going to teach our children about money?
129. How much money do you make?
130. How long have been working at your current job?

131. Is your current job your only job?
132. Why did you quit your first job?
133. What type of house do you want to live in?
134. How many jobs have you done in the last 20 years?
135. Do you have a bank account?
136. How do you plan on saving?
137. Do you plan on having any inheritance?
138. Do you have any insurance?
139. How do you get your car?
140. How do fuel it?

141. Do you have a driver’s license?
142. What would you do during retirement?
143. At what age would you like to retire?

Recreational questions you should ask your partner before getting married

144. Do you enjoy traveling?
145. How often would you like to travel?
146. Where would you like to travel?
147. How important is spending time alone to you?
148. Can I go on vacation without you?
149. Do you visit amusement parks?
150. What music genre do you listen to?
151. How would you like to spend special days?
Extended family questions you should ask your partner before getting married
152. How often do you want to visit your family?
153. How often will your family visit us?
154. How was conflict handled in your house when growing up and what kind of things would create conflict in your home?
155. Would your mother or father stay with us?
156. Would you be ok if my siblings permanently move to our home?
157. How do we deal with our aging parents?
158. How often would you want to visit my family?
159. What are the things your parents did well that you want to replicate in your marriage and what other things do you not want to bring into your wedding?
160. Do you have a family history of diseases?

161. What kind of topics were not allowed to be talked about in your house?
162. If there is a disagreement between your partner and your family, whose side would you choose?
163. What would you do if your family member dislikes me and that member is very dear to you?
164. How do you relate with your parents and siblings?
165. Is being close to extended family important to you?
166. How would you celebrate Christmas, would you want both families to visit or would we celebrate it with either my family or yours?
Health questions you should ask your partner before getting married
167. Does any family member suffer from alcoholism?
168. What is your medical family history?
169. If I have to change my diet for medical concerns, would you be willing to change yours?
170. What do you think of exercising together?

Using Apps to Ask Relationship Questions

Gottman Card Decks

Gottman card decks is a question and suggestion application comprising different decks to help partners develop meaningful conversation and connection.

The card decks consist of about 14 decks. Each deck has many questions a couple could ask each other and suggestions for things to do and say.

Questions and suggestions are carefully crafted by relationship experts making them the ability to produce effective results.

How to Install and Use Gottman Card Decks

  • Visit Google Place Store on Android
  • Search Gottman Card Decks
  • Install the application
  • Locate the shortcut ‘carddecks’ on your home screen and tap to open
  • There will be a welcome screen with a brief essay about the app
  • On the welcome screen, tap “Get Started”
  • The dashboard has several decks. Choose as desired. In our tutorial, we will use love maps.

Love Maps

  • The first deck from the upper left corner is Love Maps.
  • Tap to open it
  • It will give you a short description of the deck.
  • Tap “Begin”.
  • After tapping begin, you will see an instruction window directing you on how to use this deck.
  • Read the instructions and tap “Got it” to have access to the questions.
  • To gain access to the next question, slide to the right. To view the previous question, slide to the left.

You can also tap the menu bar to read about the deck, instructions, and other resources and even order the deck.

You can tap the star to create favorite questions which you can access to next time you open same deck by tapping “Favorites”.

There are also great questions in open-ended questions, sex questions, date questions and also, the app teaches you how to become a great listener not only asking questions.

Tap the expressing empathy to know how to empathize with your partner. Salsa (Hot) deck will completely change your sex life for good.

“Looking to spice up your sex life? This Hot (3 pepper) deck is for couples who want to explore more wild sexual fantasies.”


This is a long list of must ask questions before marriage from my personal compilation, suggestions of people in relationship, and sources on the internet both pastors and relationship experts.

What is your take on this article? Let me know the first question you will ask your partner on this list in the comments.

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