How to Talk Intimately with Your Boyfriend Over Text

A simple “I’m thinking of you” can ignite deep conversations. Men crave emotional connection too! Sending a text like “Babe, I want to come over” or playing games like “Guess what I’m wearing tonight,” will set the stage for an intimate talk.

How to talk intimately with your boyfriend

When texting, discussing intimate topics leads to greater social bonding than engaging in
small-talk, Leckfor, Christina (2020).

Tired of waiting for your boyfriend to make the first move in intimate conversations for fear of appearing needy or cheap? In this blog post, I’ll reveal subtle intimate conversation starters that will improve your romantic game, allowing you to take charge and confidently talk intimately with your boyfriend over text.

How to Talk Intimately with Your Boyfriend

An intimate talk plays a great role in the longevity of your relationship. If your relationship is going to last, you must engage in an honest talk with your partner.

“Self-disclosure is also a driver of stability and continuation within long-term romantic relationships, Sprecher, 1987.”

Planning your first date? Don’t ruin it. Read 27 First Date Topics and Conversation Starters. Also, make sure you read my article Conversation Starters for a First Date: Breaking the Ice.

Whether you are looking to establish an emotional connection or learn how to talk about physical intimacy with your boyfriend over text, this article will guide you.

Let’s kickstart!

1. Ask Open-ended Questions

One important way to encourage intimate talk with your boyfriend is to ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions make room for your partner to express themselves.

The more time you spend talking with your partner, the more you get to know them, this creates a deeper connection.

Don’t turn your moment together into a heated argument rather use this opportunity to know what your partner thinks and feels.

Try these open-ended questions to establish an intimate conversation with your boyfriend.

  • Do you consider me to be your lifelong partner? And what makes you think I am the right person for you?
  • Will you want me to be the mother of your children? I want an honest reply.
  • Why have you been so dull after meeting with my parents? Is there anything you’d like to tell me?
  • Which part of my body attracts you the most? I want to know how it makes you feel.
  • Do I make you want to come back home?
  • On which occasion did I make you feel mad but couldn’t tell it to my face?
  • Did you enjoy last night’s sex? What do you like about it?
  • Dear, you are not looking ok, is there anything I should know?

2. Tell Your Boyfriend How You Feel

Hiding your feeling from your boyfriend makes you opaque. You become a stone he pours water on with the hope of softening you one day.

This buries your relationship in silence.

Be vocal with your feelings. Don’t abuse your partner verbally but learn how to tell your boyfriend about what you think, how you feel, and what you intend to do.

Try these examples.

  • I feel neglected these days.
  • You have not touched me today, what is the matter?
  • You chose your family over me.
  • Please why did I have to be the last person to hear it?
  • It seems I am left out of your life.
  • You are always there for me.
  • I am glad you were at the graduation.
  • You belittle me in front of your friends and family.
  • Who I’m I to you? Tell me.
  • I know you love me.
  • Thanks for being my friend.
  • Thanks for appreciating me.
  • I am glad you like my food.

3. Show Empathy to Your Boyfriend

Show empathy

“To deepen intimacy in a conversation, it really helps to show your partner understanding and empathy,” The Gottman Institute.

When you show empathy, put yourself in the place of your partner to feel how they feel about the situation. Understand their feelings and thoughts, then, validate what they say and how they feel.

This makes your partner understand you are for them not against them. With this, they are comfortable being vulnerable.

When you show empathy, try these phrases.

Remember that showing empathy is not limited to these phrases and they may not be applicable to your partner’s situation.

  • I understand how you feel about how your manager treated you.
  • I would’ve reacted more than you did dear. You know how I’m likely to take things.
  • You are right, no need to go back there.
  • Didn’t know you felt neglected. I am so sorry for making you feel so.

Don’t try to advise your partner or provide solutions to the problem. Your partner is not looking for a solution they are looking for someone to understand them.

4. Flirt with Your Boyfriend Over Text

Sending flirty texts to your boyfriend over text can set a romantic mood for your boyfriend. Doing this makes him want to spend time with you.

Knowing your boyfriend will help you understand the kind of intimate text to send him. In order to know your boyfriend, ask him open-ended questions.

Every man is different, if you don’t know what to start with, try the texts below.

  • Something dirty is on my mind.
  • I’m naked lying on my bed.
  • I am so much in love with you.
  • I want to have your babies.
  • That goodbye kiss left me crying for more.
  • I want to love you forever.
  • It’s fun being around you.
  • I bought a new detergent, it makes my pants smell great. Do you mind smelling them?
  • Guess what I’m wearing.
  • My colleague’s fiancé visits her at work, and looking at them in the cafeteria is reminding me of you.
  • When are you coming home?
  • I had a dream about you, we were lonely in a flower garden.
  • Guess what, I’m twerking.
  • Radio “XYZ” is playing our song. The song we played the night of our first anniversary.
  • Tonight I’ll be in your favorite nightie.
  • I’m waiting for you to get home so we take our bath together.

5. Express Your Feelings After Sex

You can make your partner feel appreciated by texting him about your excitement after sex. This can boost your boyfriend’s courage.

Sex talk over the phone is a way to stay connected with your partner.

Here are examples of things you can say after sex to have great intimate phone conversations.

  • Imagine you are beside me, what would you do?
  • Did I look beautiful in your bedroom?
  • Do you really mean it when you repeatedly told me you love me after every thrust?
  • When will I ever see my baby again, so that I would show her how much I love her?
  • Sleep well, my love.
  • I love you!
  • Hey! It’s hard to concentrate. Am missing you badly.
  • How’re you dear?

Find more words to tell your partner in my article 141+ things to say after sex to make your partner want more.

71 Intimate Talk with Your Boyfriend

To have a lasting relationship, one must learn to communicate, either employing fun questions, discussing personal matters which result in understanding future plans of your partner, or talking about family issues, etc.

In this topic, we will be looking at a list of simple questions which can raise your partner’s sensual antenna.

These questions can help start an intimate conversation with your boyfriend.

How to Start Intimate Conversation with Your Boyfriend Over Text

Having sex conversation with your boyfriend is a fun thing to do but for many girls, starting a dirty talk can become intimidating.

If you are having difficulty starting an intimate talk with your boyfriend, try these icebreakers.

  1. What is your wildest fantasy?
  2. When we first met, what was going through your mind?
  3. If we are in the same room and you notice am without lingerie, what will you do?
  4. Do you like virgins?
  5. Do you watch pornographic movies?
  6. Have you ever been touched by a girl?
  7. Do you play hide and seek?
  8. Are you a good kisser?
  9. Imagine us getting wet in heavy rainfall.
  1. If I drop ice on my chest will you help remove it?
  2. Do you like a woman on top?
  3. Between night and dawn which is your favorite?
  4. Which do you enjoy most, back or front?
  5. I miss you, do you miss me too?
  6. What positions would you rather try on our first day?
  7. Do you prefer foreplay?
  8. If I dress down in front of you, will I be spared?
  9. Have you ever had phone sex?
  10. Does your tongue fill in the gap?
  11. Are you had to satisfy?
  12. When did you lose control watching a girl next door?
  1. Who broke your virginity?
  2. Have you ever been seduced at work?
  3. When I send you nude images or clips, what will you think of me?
  4. Why will you love to be oral?
  5. How did you make her want more?
  6. How many times have you ever been in the act?
  7. Do you discuss sex afterward?
  8. If I enter your bedroom without knocking and find you naked, what would you do?
  9. Do you kiss when doing it?

Make Your Boyfriend Mood Romantic Over Text

Text messaging over mobile phones – will grow in popularity so that the market is worth $50bn globally by 2010, according to new research.

When you want to ask your boyfriend for sex through text or turn him on but having difficulty, just ask him dirty questions. This will open the door for you.

  1. What was your most cherished moment in bed like?
  2. Have you got your fingers dirty with your workmate?
  3. If we watch sex tape together in bed would your hand stay put?
  4. Do you think of caressing me?
  5. Would you want me to get loud or silent?
  6. Do you love me enough to walk away from my naked friend?
  7. Trying to put on my pant it seems tight can you help?
  8. How do you feel when I call you dear?
  9. Do you prefer one-night stands or longer-term sexual partners?
  10. Can you date two girls at the same time?
  1. Would you pay for sex?
  2. Have you ever used a sex toy?
  3. Have you ever bathed with a lady?
  4. Do you sleep without a boxer at times?
  5. Have you ever read an erotic novel?
  6. Do you masturbate?
  7. Where did you first commit?
  8. Can you share your naked photo with a girl?
  9. How do you feel when a woman walks by naked?
  10. Would you pay for sex?

Mature Topics to Talk About with Your Boyfriend

  1. Have you ever used a sex toy?
  2. Have you ever bathed with a lady?
  3. Do you sleep without a boxer at times?
  4. Have you ever read an erotic novel?
  5. Do you masturbate?
  6. Where did you first commit?
  7. Can you share your naked photo with a girl?
  8. If I pay a visit would you like me naked as I prepare food?
  9. Condom or raw?
  10. When we first met, what was going through your mind?
  1. Whom do you prefer to wear a condom?
  2. Who fixes the condom?
  3. How long does it take you to wear a condom?
  4. When you take sex pills and your partner isn’t around what would you do?
  5. Do you suck breasts?
  6. Will you kiss a girl on the first date?
  7. Will you allow me to shave you?
  8. If there’s a chance to touch me, which part of my body will you touch most?
  9. Do you think of me late at night?
  10. What would you do if I came and strip naked before you?

How to Romance Your Boyfriend on the Phone

Studies have found that sexual arousal is a highly mental phenomenon, and phone sex can be a great way to stimulate your mind.”

Phone sex offers a thrilling way to connect with your partner remotely, indulging in shared desires and fantasies through verbal expression.

It’s always important to prioritize consent, open communication, and mutual comfort when engaging in intimate activities with a partner.

1. Know What Triggers His Sexual Appetite

I am not going to ask you to discuss it with him though it will be the appropriate thing to do. If you barely know what turns him on, set some time aside and find out from him.

It will help you know what exactly to say when you are ready.

2. Know Where He Loves to be Touched

Are you wondering if this is needed? You will need it when your agenda begins to work for you.

You can tell him about how you are imagining holding him and touching him where he gets sexually active by mentioning those spots.

This will make him relax and imagine the things you say. It is a great method to seduce him and make your partner ready.

3. When does He Love to Have Sex?

You need his full attention for both of you to enjoy this and make him ask for more and be the one demanding it next time.

When you know when he happens to find it appropriate to engage in sex, you can easily turn him on and set the ball rolling in a few minutes.

4. Call or Text Him in His Leisure Time

Just as your divided attention self cannot cause your body and emotion to surrender to sex, his won’t either grant him permission to.

This is why you need him at the time he’s less busy and ready to have enough time with you.

5. Be Ready to Be Vulnerable

If you don’t seem ready, give it another time. In case you mess things up the first time, you may feel uncomfortable approaching him again.

Set yourself ready for this. Be in the right mood.

6. Don’t Be Timid

If you are feeling timid and passive, you cannot be in charge and control the game as you should. You need to act as the master of the game.

7. Send Him Erotic Text

Take things a step further. Tune him in the right direction and make it happen fast. Activate your romantic vocabulary.

Send him sensual images or text to wake him up. Get his 5 senses ready for action.

If you are confused about what to say, check this list: deep things to say to your boyfriend over text. You can personalize them to suit your need.

8. Call Him and Get Sensitive With Your Talk

Here is where you ultimately execute your idea. Don’t misunderstand me. If you want, you can still perform the magic using text.

But I’d much rather hear you speak. You can be more honey by doing that. Give him a sense of your voice.

What to Talk About with Your Boyfriend on the Phone

When engaging in phone conversations with your boyfriend, it’s important to have stimulating topics at hand that keep the conversation flowing.

Here are some ideas to explore and discuss together.

Talk about his favorite sports team

Men like sports. Go ahead and discuss with your boyfriend about his formula one driver. Talk about his best football player or team.

You don’t have to follow his sport closely, but find any new gist about his star, and draw his attention to it.

It makes him want to spend some time with you on the phone. Besides spending time with you on the phone, he will appreciate you for showing interest in things that make him happy.

  • Lewis Hamilton finished second at the Spanish Grand Prix on Sunday and his contract at Mercedes expires at the end of 2023.
  • Kylian Mbappé calls out PSG fans for treatment of Lionel Messi.
  • Cristiano Ronaldo and his girlfriend Georgina Rodriguez will be allowed to live together in Saudi Arabia.
  • I want to know, what does Ronaldo’s signing for Al Nassr mean for Saudi Arabia? Everyone’s talking about it.

It doesn’t necessarily have to revolve around sports; it could encompass entertainment or his cherished hobby.

Engage in a conversation about his future ambitions

If you’re contemplating a long-term commitment with your boyfriend, engaging in a meaningful discussion about his future plans becomes an essential topic to explore.

You should know what he is all about. What he wants to do in the near future. The type of job he’d like to do, how long he’d like to work for other people, and how he plans to manage the relationship.

  • How sure are you about moving forward with this relationship?
  • Do you like reading?
  • Where do you work?
  • At which age will you want to graduate from the university or have a trade?

Want to find out more about your boyfriend? Here is a list of 101 questions to ask your partner over text.

Read my article Questions to Ask Before Marriage and 31 Financial Questions to Ask Before Marriage for more details.

Talk about his career

As you delve into conversations about the future, it becomes crucial to take into account your partner’s career aspirations.

It’s essential to have a clear understanding of your partner’s plans regarding their job before making a significant commitment.

Find out what your boyfriend does for leaving. If he is currently unemployed, find out what he wants to profess for and his plans for it.

This is a very important factor to consider before getting married.

Talk about education

One fun topic that can keep you and your boyfriend on the phone for long is education. There are many aspects of education that you can both discuss and stay on the phone for hours.

Talk about his course, his school, college life, assignment, how he plans to further his course, and why he chose his program of study.

There are a number of topics to discuss about education, so go ahead and explore them.

Talk about his family

Don’t undermine the role of the family in your relationship. Inquire about his family. Know about his parents, is he staying with his parents? Is he having a step-parent or siblings?

What work do they do?

Knowing these things help you relate with him and his family.

Above all make time to have personal encounters with his family.

Tell him about your future plans

In my personal perspective, one of the criteria I consider when choosing a partner is their future plans. I’m interested in understanding their envisioned path for the upcoming 5 months, 1 year, and 5 years ahead.

Simply, I want to know if you have plans for your life.

Tell your boyfriend about the program you want to study in college. Why you want to read this program and where it will lead you in the near future.

Times have changed. Your man wants a woman who is about something. A woman that can assist him financially.

I enjoy listening to my girlfriend talk about her immediate plans and things she wants to do after college.


Remember that intimacy is not built over a day. It takes time to relate with people emotionally and physically.

You shouldn’t focus on one aspect of intimate talks, have a balance between emotional and physical intimacy.

Discuss your boyfriend’s well-being, talk about his job, and also send him romantic messages.

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