How to Flirt with Your Girlfriend

When it comes to flirting, everyone is different. And people flirt for different reasons.

How to flirt with your girlfriend

To flirt and be on top of your game; you should master the act of flirting by following the right steps, knowing the type of flirt you are, and style employed by your crush. This post will address how to flirt with your girlfriend, stranger, flirting styles and the best techniques to employ to flirt. When flirting:

7 Ways to Turn a Woman On

  1. Relax your fingers and run them along her arms and other sensitive parts tenderly
  2. Place your hand on her thigh and whisper in her ear softly
  3. Spend quiet time to massage her body parts e.g., earlobe, chin, neck, shoulders, arms, fingers, legs and toes
  4. Tickle her sensitive areas and smile back
  5. Softly flip your fingers through her hair
  6. Slowly kiss and drag your lips over her neck and shoulders
  7. Drop your voice and speak softly with your eyes looking wet

How to Acquire Flirting Skills

Just like any other skills, if you suck at flirting, you need to model the masters. “There is no born pilot” David Oyedepo.

“The very best way to quickly expand your understanding of flirting is to watch others flirt in the real world” Christopher Williamson.

With that said, lets look at possible courses to take and become a flirting expert quickly before cursing yourself again and concluding women do not like you.

1. Learn from Friends

This is the natural state anyone finding difficulties with keeping or less having a girl should turn to. Should your friend or friends have girlfriend(s), monitor how they relate with them.

How your friend organizes himself around his girlfriend and the way the girl responds to his skills. Also, look at how your friends approach girls they run into and method employed to woo them. Keep eye on their body language and composure.

Should this not be enough, don’t be afraid to ask for help and little guideline from them.

If friends intimidate you or they happened to be broke as you in the quest of having a girlfriend, then, your next class should be held at a bar or club house.

Why do you need such a place? The club or bar is a place you can find courageous men and experts in female flirt. Your mission is to notice men who are interacting with women.

“Men who start conversations effortlessly are the men you want to watch”. Christopher Williamson.

And you want to also take note of men who have full control over the conversation and their body posture, keeping direct eye contact and calm movements without a sign of timidity.

3. Experts in Movies

While relying on Hollywood and Bollywood to find better female flirt skills can be very damaging because actions demonstrated in these movies are almost nontransferable to the real world; there are exception.

Christopher Williamson mentioned some iconic movie legends whose ideas of flirting are transferable and applicable in the real world.

  • The James Bond Series – Pierce Bronson, Sean Connery
  • Don Juan DeMarco – Johnny Depp
  • Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom – Harrison Ford

4. Radio and TV Hosts

When I talk maintaining your cool before women to have the upper hand over the situation, you may still be wondering, but how do you expert me not to go nervous before a stranger and outstanding beauty queen?

I understand your grievances.

That is why I am providing you a solution.

  1. Tune to the most influential FM or TV channel in your region
  2. Watch or listen to your favorite talk show or any talk show you think is worth your time
  3. Be critical of how the host:
  • take control of the show
  • the amount of discipline exercised
  • how the host interacts with panelist
  • direction of eye and body posture
  • how the host pauses and get back to conversation

At the end of this exercise, you should learn these key things.

  • Confidence when talking to people
  • Controlling your body when conversing or body language
  • The tone of voice to use when communicating
  • After the show, look back at how the host was able to engage you for the number of minutes without getting you bored.

Drama Group

Drama groups can be more effective than anything. Why? It is a place of socialization and thinking on the spot.

I have been featured on plays at school from elementary to high school. So, I do understand the impact of belonging to a drama group.

How Do Drama Group Affects Your Behavior?

  • It boosts your moral
  • It builds your ego
  • Help improve your ability for public speaking
  • You learn how to switch between voices or voice tones
  • It removes shyness
  • Increase your chances of making new friends
  • Lastly, the idea is making you strong enough to take your dating destiny into your own hands but joining a drama group may even increase your chances of going on date without mastering dating skills because you may become popular


Chances are a friend may introduce you to a girl who will happen to like you. From there, you only need little effort if you are interested in taking things a little further.

Just as bars and clubs, party is equally a place to learn how to flirt by studying the act from others. You are not likely to learn from experts alone, but from those who repeat similar mistakes and get bounced.

It will reassure you that, you are not alone. And all you need is to step up your game.
Source: Flirting formula

The 5 Flirting Styles

  1. The Physical Flirt
  2. The Polite Flirt
  3. The Playful Flirt
  4. The Sincere Flirt
  5. The Traditional Flirt

The Physical Flirt

This style of flirting comprises all skills exhibited by body language to express sexual interest in the opposite sex.
Those that scored high in this style, are likely to develop relationships quickly and have more sexual chemistry with their partner.

The Polite Flirt

This style is void of sexual communication, rather proper manners to lure the opposite sex. Polite flirts are less likely to become potential partners, and they do not prefer traditional flirting, but tend to have longer, more meaningful relationships.

The Playful Flirt

This style is exhibited by those who care less about transforming their flirting efforts to romantic results. Their aim is rather to have fun and boost ego instead of romantic strings attached.

The Sincere Flirt

In sincere flirting; one creates solid, intense emotional connection and communicating sincere interest. Sincere flirts prefer establishing emotional attachment first and puts sexual interest second on their list.

The Traditional Flirt

If you still think women are to wait on men to take the first step in wooing a mate; you are a traditional flirt.

Traditional flirts hold firm to the believe men should make first move and women should not pursue men.
The problem is, traditional women have difficulty in wooing a man. Beside that, they are less likely to be direct with their intensions. Also, traditional men identify a potential mate a longer time before approaching them.

Top 7 Ways to Spot a Physical Flirt

If you are like me, wondering “How do you know if someone is really flirting with you or is just being nice/trying to get a free drink/trying to make someone else jealous”, the table below leaves a clue to understanding physical flirts.

In his book, The Five Flirting Styles, Jeffrey A. Hall, Ph.D. identified 10 ways to spot a physical flirt.
Jeffrey’s five flirting styles is based on an exclusive research discovered in a sample of over 5,000 eHarmony users and confirmed in a huge survey of 4,500 individuals worldwide.

Here are 7 of the 10 ways.

NoSigns of Physical Flirt
1Soon after meeting you, a physical flirt will clearly show you if they are attracted to you
2If you meet online, physical flirts feel comfortable disclosing personal details, and will want to
meet you face-to-face as soon as possible
3Physical flirts will misinterpret your friendliness as flirtatiousness
4Whether a man or a woman, a physical flirt will be a bit more aggressive, assertive, competitive,
and dominant compared to any other flirting style
5A physical woman will use a pick-up line at a bar or lay on the flattery on a date
6Physical flirts are incredibly confident that other people want them and find them attractive. They are the only style that feels so assured
7A physical flirt will come alone to a bar to pick attractive strangers

How to Flirt Your Girlfriend with Music

Flirting comes naturally, but mastering it gives more skills to win over others who desire same person you crushing on.

From Lionel Richie to Westlife, Shakespeare to Michael Truth, flirting songs, poems, text messages and signs are still ruling the romantic world.

As said, flirting has been since ages.

Today, we may be more straightforward in dealing with matters of the heart. But it doesn’t take away similar approach Celine Dion employed back in the 19’s.

What Role do Music Play in Flirting?

Emeka, 36 “Back in High school, all I did was invite the girl indoor and play Lionel Richie or Celine Dion or Westlife. The music did the job, I don’t need to talk.”

Lyrics are crafted with passion by musicians. Though the musician may not have any particular girl or boy on mind at the time of writing the song, it plays a great emotional role on the listener’s sentiments.

The purpose of flirting is to get the opposite sex’s attention. Music has the ability to do just that.
It is not only about the lyrics but the tempo also plays a key role.

Advantages of Flirting with Music

  • You can create the atmosphere you desire with music.
  • You don’t have to think of what to say.
  • Music comes with melodious voice and influence the listener quickly.
  • If you happen to sing yourself, the girl or boy finds you charming, romantic and intelligent.
  • Songs are written and sung to touch our souls.
  • The rhythm of the song creates romantic environment.
  • You may sing along if you are both familiar with the lyric. Thus, creates bond between you.

Examples of Flirting Music

If you are a music fun, then, you probably have some big names on mind. Musicians that kept your girlfriend sucking up to you all night.

  • Lionel Richie feat Darius Rucker – Stuck on you
  • Judy Boucher – That night we met
  • Westlife – Queen of my heart
  • Celine Dion feat Bee Gees – Immortality

Flirting Lyrics

Jackson 5 – I’ll Be There

You and I must make a pact
We must bring salvation back

Where there is love
I’ll be there (I’ll be there)

I’ll reach out my hand to you
I’ll have faith in all you do

Just call my name and I’ll be there (I’ll be there)
I’ll be there to comfort you

Build my world of dreams around you
I’m so glad that I found you

I’ll be there with a love that’s strong
I’ll be your strength

I’ll keep holding on
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter

Togetherness, girl, is all I’m after
Whenever you need me

I’ll be there (I’ll be there)
I’ll be there to protect you, (yeah baby)

With an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name

And I’ll be there (I’ll be there)

Source: Musixmatch

John Legend – Wild

I just bought a new car
One where the top goes down

So we can see the stars
I wanna take you so far

Out past the Saturn rings
And into my heart

I wanna drive you
Wild, wild, wild

I wanna love you
For miles and miles

We can go slow, we don’t need to rush
I’ll take the wheel, make you feel every touch

I wanna drive you
Wild, wild, wild

Lay on the passenger’s side
Tell me how fast you want

We’ll get there tonight
Oh, fire, you set me on fire

I swear you’re the only one
I’d take on this ride

I wanna drive you
Wild, wild, wild

I wanna love you
For miles and miles

Source: LyricFind

R. Kelly – Step in the name of love

Many lovers have come, and
Many lovers have gone

Similar to an old-fashioned song
(A thousand years from now we’ll be still putting it down my baby)

You can change the frame
But the picture remains the same

Similar to the sun after the rain
(A thousand years from now we’ll be still putting it down my baby)
Oh yeah

Baby girl, in other words forevermore
I’ll be here (I’ll be here)

‘Cause, my whole life’s been full of joy ever since
You came here, girl

My whole world goes around (goes around, goes around)
Because you, you spin me, yeah (spin me)

And every time we’re done making love girl
Ooh, it makes me wanna, ooh

Snap in the name of love, snap in the name of love (snap my fingers)
Clap in the name of love, clap in the name of love (clap my hands, yeah)

Step in the name of love, step in the name of love (step from side to side)
Groove in the name of love, groove in the name of love (groove and it’s alright)

Some believes in love
And some people don’t (like wars)

Similar to a story, when it’s told
(A thousand years from now we’ll be still putting it down my baby)

Some have crossed the finish line and some gave up
It’s like moving a mountain

Love can be just that tough, yeah
(A thousand years from now we’ll be still putting it down my baby)

Baby girl in other words forevermore
I’ll be here (I’ll be here)
Source: LyricFind

The list goes on and on.

Flirting is done to get the other person’s attention but not always for intimate relationship. It could be for fun.
Flirting comes in different ways. It could be through signs (body language) or oral and written communication.

Body-to-body Communication Flirting

According to Wikipedia, this form of communication accounts to about sixty percent of human conversation. By this, we should understand many people’s emotions will be impacted through this channel of communication and they are likely to respond.

55% of flirting is body language, 38% on is your voice characteristics and only 7% is what you actually say. Christopher Williamson.

Examples of Body Language for Flirting

  • Shaking of hand in a certain manner:
  1. Scratching a portion of the palm.
  2. Holding to the opposite sex’s hand longer.
  3. Dragging your hand reluctantly after shaking while stirring coyly into the person’s eyes.
  • Briefly gazing at the other person repeatedly without a word.
  • Smiling at the opposite sex.
  • Give a quick gentle touch. As people could feel uncomfortable with this, be watchful who you go this distance with.
  • Facial expression like winking your eye.
  • Standing upright and maintaining eye contact.

Oral Communication Flirting

With spoken words, flirting can be very effective. As we’ve already looked at, music is an aspect of oral communication which can help flirt.

  • Reciting poems: You can craft your own poems or recite any memorable verse.
  • Speak up your feelings in very brief sentences or phrases in flirtatious way.
  • Complement them:
  1. Say things like, wow this outfit looks splendid on you.
  2. You smile great.
  3. Your skin is succulent, can I take a bit?
  4. I like your accent.

In verbal or oral communication flirting, the following counts.

  1. Voice Tone: when you meet a woman for the first time, mind your tone. A deep masculine voice is appealing, sexy and calm. It makes women feel you are in control of situations.
  2. Voice Volume: keep a loud, clear and sound voice. If you do have a problem with speaking out loud, take your phone and record your voice in different volume to test which records sounds laud and confident.
  3. Voice Speed: don’t be in haste to get it over with. This only tells women you are scared of them or feeling shy. It gives a negative impression about you. Speaking hurriedly only makes your conversation an act and a rehearsed speech. You want to take your time and as you would when among friends and people you are familiar with.
  4. Voice Smoothness: speak like a medical doctor. Avoid eeem eeem. Talk like you know what you want to say.
  5. Spoken Words: while it sounds cute and fun to call women by all the beautiful names in the world to make them feel appreciated, experts found out that, these words act terribly on your chances to wooing a woman and winning her love.

First impressions are always important. It is hard to forget what you learned about someone on first day. When you give sexual appellations to women on first sight; it creates the impression that, all you require from them is sexual satisfaction.

Although, she may not react negatively, it may be the first and last you ever had the chance talking to her. Perhaps you may only remain hi hello friends and nothing more than that.

Women want you to be straight forward, bold and confident when approaching them. They want men demonstrating that masculine side of them, but vocalizing sexual intensions on first approach makes them think other wise of you.

You may have at times seen other men who lighten up females with these provocative words and never got thrown over the window. This is because they are experts and they come along way to take charge of the situation.

You should take your time and gather more experience to reach that level. If your target is having a reliable long term relationship, stick to appropriate behavior to find a woman that best suits you.

Written Communication Flirting

Back in the 19’s and early 2000, letter writing was used to send information to impress the opposite sex. In our world today, mobile phones make it a lot easier to reach others with information in less than a minute.

Today, we will look at how to use text messages to flirt your crush.

How to Flirt with Poem

If you love playing with words, you can send him or her a poem.
You don’t have to write it yourself. Search online and or pick one from your favorite novel.

Say my Name

Say my name three times

And I will be there with you
I will bare your weight as my mother’s new born baby

I will be present with you in your fights and laughter
And you will know who loves you more

Just call my name
Look into my eyes

Let’s kill the distance
Walk into my arms

I want to hug you
To feel your warm embrace

And take away your pain
Just call my name

Michael Truth

O Mistress Mine Where are You Roaming?

O stay and hear, your true love’s coming,
That can sing both high and low.

Trip no further pretty sweeting.
Journeys end in lovers’ meeting,

Every wise man’s son doth know.

What is love, ’tis not hereafter,
Present mirth, hath present laughter:

What’s to come, is still unsure.
In delay there lies no plenty,

Then come kiss me sweet and twenty:
Youth’s a stuff will not endure.

William Shakespeare
Source: poetryfoundation

Hot Flirting Text Messages

You can also try out simple phrases. These could be questions or direct messages complementing your crush.

How to Text Flirting Messages

  • Text with love
  • Don’t send childish text
  • Don’t be scared
  • Have in mind you can be rebuked
  • Don’t respond harshly if your text backfire
  • Check spelling errors

Flirting Text Samples

  • When I spotted you with him, I almost called 911?
  • You are always on my mind of late. Do you think of me?
  • I had a dream about you last night. We were studying and the light went out.
  • I like your laugh. It makes me feel funny inside.
  • I can’t wait to see you.
  • Didn’t know you can dance like that.
  • Can I take you out tonight?
  • My biggest fear is losing you.
  • I marked your name on my heart with my words.
  • Check this dress, it’s hot. Wanna buy you.
  • You sound like my mom.
  • Call me when you can’t sleep.
  • I’m your guardian angel.


When you decided to talk to a woman you just met, don’t task yourself. Avoid setting goals.

  1. I must prove to my friends I can do this
  2. I will return with her contact
  3. By the end of this conversation, I will get laid
  4. I love this girl so much to let her pass by
  5. I must make her fall in love with me at the word go
  • The reason to abide by the above rules is to create a normal environment for yourself. When you take emotions out of it, it is easier to speak with girls and say anything you choose without been nervous.
  • Finally, if you don’t get her contact or things don’t go your way, you don’t care. And you feel it is the lady that has something to lose.
  • This attitude always put you ahead and fears far behind. By the time you know it, you have a beautiful girl sucking up to you instead of you crying late at night wondering why she’s always on phone with everybody except you.

There are lot of information shared in this article, and I am sure you are making up your mind to start practicing some of the things mentioned if you haven’t started already.

If you learned anything today, help your friend by referring him to this site where I always share incredible dateguide with friends and family.

Similar Posts